Start Again
by kelseasc413
Summary: Sixteen years after New Moon, Bella and Jacob's daughter, Allison, meets the Cullens for the first time, completely unaware of both their and her family's true nature. What will happen when she discovers the truth about both of them? I own nothing.
1. Candid

My first clear memory is not an entirely pleasant one. I was six years old and my somewhat annoying younger brother, Connor, was two. All of us (me, my parents, and Connor) packed into the car with only the vague explanation of going to visit "an old friend of mom's". Normally, I would have peppered mom with questions for the entire ride, but I noticed she seemed tense. And dad was beyond tense; he looked like he was about to clench his jaw so hard, he would crack his teeth. I knew when it was a bad idea to push things.

The drive seemed to take forever. We passed into Forks and I became slightly annoyed. I didn't see why all this drama was exactly necessary if we were just going to visit Grandpa Charlie. I had kept quiet for a half hour, which was probably a personal record back then, so I blurted out, "Why are you guys so grumpy if we're just going to visit Grandpa?" The words shattered the tense silence and mom turned around, worry clearly showing in her eyes.

"We're not visiting Grandpa," she said quietly. This made dad tense up again, which made me roll my eyes once mom couldn't see me. We passed through Forks, making me wonder how long this drive was going to take anyway, and turned onto a private drive. As we neared the impressive white house at the end of the road, I vaguely noticed both dad's and Connor's noses wrinkling. I sniffed, trying to catch whatever was bugging them. Everything smelled all right to me. Maybe it was a boy thing.

We parked at the front of the house, and I saw several people standing on the porch. As we got out of the car, I got the distinct impression that dad didn't like these people and that Connor was afraid of them. Wimp. I walked right up to the biggest one, the tall one with brown hair, and stuck out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Allison. Sorry my brother's a wimp." He started laughing as I took his hand, which was weirdly cold, and shook it. He couldn't seem to stop. So I just rolled my eyes and listened as mom introduced me to the seven "old friends". There was Emmett, who was still laughing at me, the jerk, and Rosalie, the stuck-up looking one. Then there was Jasper, keeping his distance from us, and Alice, who was barely taller than me. Carlisle was the older-looking blond and Esme was the sweet, motherly one. Finally, there was Edward, who was kind of creeping me out. He kept staring at us and looked…dead. There was no other way to put it really. I couldn't help noticing the awkward looks between him and mom. I also noticed he was the only one alone. My nice side got the better of me and decided I should make sure he doesn't, I don't know, jump out a window or something. I'm really not sure what I was thinking, but I knew he needed someone to snap him out of whatever funk he was in.

So, when we all came into the giant house, I automatically went over to him. "So, what's wrong with you?" I asked bluntly. He just stared at me, but at least he didn't seem quite so out of it. He stayed frozen in that position though. It might have just been me, but it looked like he wasn't breathing. Okay, now he was really starting to annoy me. So I subtly waved my hand in front of his face and pointedly said, "Hello?" He shook his head a little, as if to clear it and mumbled, "Sorry."

Something was really messed up with Edward, but I really could care less what it was right now. He was sitting here moping while the rest of his family was enjoying themselves. I bit my lip and wrinkled my brow in concentration. What could I do to distract him from his problem?

"Do you want to race?" I asked. I felt triumph when I saw the ghost of a smile cross his face. I tugged on his hand, "Let's go!"


	2. Unheard

Dad looked really tense as I started to go outside with Edward. I could see the vein in his forehead that only came out and throbbed when I was in trouble. I frowned when I saw his face. What could I possibly be doing wrong? These were mom's friends, right? She didn't seem to mind. In fact, she hadn't really noticed. She was surrounded by the rest of the household, and seemed pretty much oblivious to anything else. Huh. She usually wasn't too happy being the center of attention. That was usually _my_ job. I shrugged. It didn't really matter how oddly my parents were acting, I had a new job to do.

Ignoring the barely concealed glares from dad, which were directed not at me, but at Edward, I headed out into the cold spring air. I let out a breath, relieved to be away from the tension in the house, and giggled when it fogged in front of me. Winter had ended a few weeks ago, but the cold and some of the ice and snow still lingered. Not that I minded; I loved winter and, odd as it may seem, liked the cold. So to keep the impression of the season with me for a little longer, I spun around happily letting out long breaths and watching them dissolve. Edward looked at me with a bewildered expression on his face. I stopped spinning. And I thought he was kind of weird. The first thing I decide to do when I go outside is to spin in circles? No wonder he was confused.

"I can't hear you," he said to himself. Huh? Now I was the one confused.

"What are you talking about? I wasn't saying anything." He just stared at me and looked like he was concentrating really hard on something. It was beginning to make me feel a little uncomfortable. A little random spinning was nothing compared to this. _It wouldn't be so weird if he'd just blink...maybe I need to snap him out of it again_. I sighed and impatiently grabbed his hand again. "Hey! I thought we were going to race!" Nothing happened. It looked like I'd lost him to zombie-land again. Well, I had better things to do than watch him stare at me looking like he was about to have an aneurism. I turned away and started running for the trees at the back edge of the yard. It was a little awkward trying to run in my rain boots and my feet kept slipping on the frosty ground. But what did I care? The worst that could happen was a bruise, maybe. "Can't catch me!" I yelled over my shoulder at Edward. When I turned around he was still frozen several yards back, still looking at me with that oddly pained expression. Of course, running with one's head turned around is not exactly the best idea. So, clueless about where I was going, my feet slid on a patch of slushy ice and I spectacularly fell on my face. Ow. _Stop it. You're six years old and you're not going to start crying like a little baby._ Well, if anything good had come out of it, Edward had returned to the figurative land of the living and was standing right next to me all of a sudden. I tried to casually get up and brush myself off, but only succeeded in making myself look even more stupid by spitting out a mouthful of snow I'd half-swallowed.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked, the glazed look in his eye somewhat dissipated. I once again attempted to regain my dignity by standing up and brushing myself off.

"I'm fine, I think," I said, correcting myself when I felt my knee, which I had scraped on the ground, throb. _That might leave a nasty bruise_. I started rolling up my jeans leg to inspect the damage. The spot was red and raw with angry scrape marks across it. _Well, it could've been worse_.

But my optimism was ruined when a tiny drop of blood oozed from one of the marks. Ugh. I hated the sight of blood. I saw Edward gasp. Maybe he was getting a little queasy looking at it too. His movements became extremely irregular and jerky as he backed away from me and looked cautiously at the house, like he was listening for something again. What could he possibly hear now? We were too far away from the house to hear people talking, and there wasn't anything out here that was that engrossing.

"Um, Edward?" I asked, rolling the leg of my pants back down. Maybe if he couldn't see the blood, it wouldn't bother him so much. He whipped his head around and visibly tried to keep a normal expression. He looked awfully tense; I hoped he wasn't going to throw up or something. "It's no big deal if it's bugging you. If you show me where the band-aids are, I can take care of it by myself." Edward's mouth twitched a little (was that the beginning of a smile I detected?). But before he could say anything, my family came out of the house. Dad was far ahead of mom and Connor, and from the way his fists were clenched and shaking, I could tell he was even more upset than before.

"Allison, we're going home now," he said authoritatively.

"Why? We just got here? All I need is a band-aid or something. It's not even as bad as a paper cut. Please?" But I could tell from the look dad was giving me that it wasn't really up for debate. Meanwhile, mom had come up with Connor. She was kind of my last chance to stay a while longer. When dad was being stubborn, mom was usually the voice of reason. But that possibility was crushed when I saw the look on her face. She looked resigned and not a little bit worried. _Okay, everybody. I barely scraped my knee! What is all this drama about, anyway?_ All mom did was nod, obviously agreeing with dad. _You have got to be kidding me_.


	3. Tension

Dad picked me up and set me on his shoulders. _I _can _walk. I'm not a baby, you know._ This day was turning out to be really frustrating. First, I have to go and visit some of mom's friends (and there is never anything to do when you're surrounded by adults). Then, when I had just started to enjoy myself, they decide we have to leave because I skinned my knee a little. And now my dad was insisting on _carrying_ me to the car? Did they think, heaven forbid, I would scrape my knee again on the way back? I huffed and crossed my arms on top of dad's head. As he started walking away, I turned my head around to see Edward. I mouthed "sorry" and rolled my eyes, uncrossing my arms to wave goodbye. The ghost of a smile crossed his face as he waved back.

It felt like dad was in an insane rush to get back home. I wasn't entirely sure what, but something that had happened over at the Cullens' house had struck a nerve. He could barely keep calm enough to get the car started. Even Connor seemed tense, at least until we had turned back onto the highway and were well away from the house. Was I the only sane person in my family today? I kept my face to the window and sullenly ignored them for the ride home. Not that it mattered. Mom and dad kept whispering to each other and ignoring me and Connor anyway. That gave me plenty of time to think over what had just happened. And the more I thought about it, the less sense it made.

I thought about telling dad how ridiculous he was acting, but thought better of it when I saw his face. It was tense and left no room for argument. Maybe mom would be more reasonable, once she came out of panic mode. She might even be back to normal by the time we got home; from what I could tell, her voice was becoming more argumentative and less agreeable as the drive went on. I was relieved when we finally pulled into our driveway. I was the first one inside the house and took advantage of the time to finally clean off my scrape. It wasn't even bleeding anymore. I washed what little dried blood there was off and found mom putting Connor down for a nap in our bedroom. I settled in to wait for her to leave so we could talk.

Finally, she tiptoed out of the room, stumbling once. I gave her an exaggerated impatient look. "Mom, what's going on?"

She sighed and walked over to the living room, sitting on the couch. I hopped up next to her and raised an eyebrow expectantly. Taking a deep breath, almost as if she needed to prepare herself, she asked, "What do you want to know?" I had no idea this conversation was so serious; I just wanted to know why we had to leave early.

"Why'd we have to go so early? I was just starting to have fun!" I blurted. Mom's face sank into an expression of relief. _Weird. What did she think I was going to ask?_

"Well, Connor was getting restless, and I thought it was rude to stay and try and deal with a cranky toddler at the same time," she said. That was true enough. Anybody could've seen that Connor was nervous being in that house, for reasons I couldn't explain nor understand. But I could see that wasn't the entire truth. Mom never had been a good liar, and this was no exception. Besides, her answer didn't make much sense. It was too much of a coincidence that everybody had come running out of the house moments after I had tripped and scraped my knee. I said nothing in response, merely staring at her, showing that I could see through her explanation. There was an awkward silence for a few moments. I broke it first.

"Okay, but why did everybody come out right after I fell and hurt myself?" I asked pointedly.

"Alice saw you tripping," she started to say, "uh, through the window." A faint blush appeared on her cheeks this time, unveiling a second lie.

"But Edward and I were so far away from the house. There's no way she can see that far," I argued.

"Alice can see very well," she answered, half smiling. "And then, when we saw that you had skinned your knee on top of your brother wanting to leave, it seemed best to cut the visit short." Fine. She wasn't going to bite. Mom had an excuse ready for pretty much everything.

"Are we going back soon?" I wondered, worrying about leaving Edward to his zombie-world mood again.

"Um, definitely not the whole family again. Maybe I'll just go by myself next time."

"What about me?"

She looked surprised. "You would want to go back? Why?"

I rolled my eyes slightly. "Well, until you and dad showed up again, I was having fun," Oh_, and I found how to make Edward do something weird. What's the word again? Oh, right. Smiling._ "And I think Edward could use a little help, I think. He seems, kind of depressed." Mom obviously understood what I meant. She smiled sadly when I mentioned Edward, and mostly because of that, I think, she said I could come with her and visit the Cullens again next time.


	4. Improving

The second drive to the Cullens' house seemed much less awkward. Only mom and I went this time, so there was no unpleasant tooth-grinding from dad or whining and nose-wrinkling from Connor. In my opinion, it was a huge improvement. I didn't want to worry about dad having another obsessive attack if I stubbed my toe. Come to think of it, mom had run out of her excuses, also known as the boys of the family, from last time.

As soon as mom parked the car, I darted out ahead of her and knocked on the door. Alice opened it.

"Hello…goodbye!" I shouted as I dodged around her into the living room. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, probably questioning my sanity, and mom trying to get me to slow down. Hey, I was six, I was excited, and I'd managed to drink a lot of pop from the two liter in our fridge (which I was definitely _not_ supposed to be drinking). So I was randomly running in circles in the living room of a bunch of people I didn't know very well. So what? What else did anyone _expect_ me to be doing? I skidded to a stop in front of an apparently very amused Edward. "Hey, look! Your mouth's doing something weird! I think it's called a _smile_," I pointed out. It didn't quite reach his eyes, but at least this was some progress. Unfortunately, mom picked that moment to catch up with me, and she didn't look happy. And now Edward didn't look happy either. I gave mom an annoyed look that was supposed to say _now look what you've done_, but she seemed to have other things on her mind.

"Allison, tearing through other people's homes like a nutcase is extremely rude," she said in that angry whispery voice she saved specifically for when I was in trouble in public. Then she took me back outside, to give me a long-winded lecture I knew. So instead of listening to her lecture, which I'd probably heard twenty times before at the very least, I let my eyes subtly glaze over and nodded every time she paused. I thought I was getting good at making people think I was actually paying attention. Not that my parents actually checked if we were listening to them. They could go on for an hour about some stupid misstep on my part. I'm not kidding. I've timed them with the microwave before. Eventually, mom finally finished with the typical,

"So, are you going to behave now?" I just nodded, hoping to get back to doing something interesting and burning off the ridiculous amount of energy I seemed to have. While mom was watching, I walked just slow enough not to earn another lecture and made a beeline back to Edward. I also made sure to bounce a little bit with every step, just enough to annoy mom, but not enough to make her really angry.

"I don't know about you, but I can't stay in this house right now," I informed him, continuing to bounce just to prove my point. He laughed under his breath a slightly and followed me outside.

As soon as I was out the door, I sprinted to the back of the house, not tripping this time. "Watch this!" I yelled over my shoulder. I turned a cartwheel in the slightly damp grass, ending in the same position I started in. _Nice. I can do that better than mom already._ I turned back to Edward and bowed enthusiastically, earning a small round of applause. My inherent need to be in the spotlight clicked on at that point and I decided to try something new. I managed to get into a slightly wobbly handstand and get out the words, "Beat that!" before unceremoniously tipping over and landing on my back. Well, at least I knew that wouldn't cut me and cause another panic-festival. I was half expecting the house to empty again anyway. Heaven forbid a kid should get rug burn. The last time I checked, rug burn and knee scrapes weren't deadly.

Oddly enough, I wasn't whisked away from the house for the slight possibility of minor injury this time. But I still had to deal with Edward asking if I was alright. Why did everyone seem to treat me like I was made of glass every time I visited here? When I was at home, cuts and bruises were naturally considered a normal part of my life. I was _six_, I was probably going to fall over once in a while.

I casually got up, brushing myself off, and huffed impatiently. "I'm fine. I did that on purpose anyway," I said. Edward cocked an eyebrow at me incredulously. I sighed, "Well I had to get down _somehow_," I explained. Now he was trying visibly not to laugh. Now I was even more annoyed. "Well, how would you do it, then?" I asked, "I bet you can't even _do_ a handstand, so it won't matter if you know how to get down," I continued smugly. He hesitated. I sarcastically gestured for him to go ahead. He glanced back at the windows at the back of the house and rolled his eyes. I tapped my foot, "I'm not getting any younger over here, you know," I whispered. Finally, he did it. And he stayed on his hands for a long time.

"Hey, isn't all the blood rushing to your head right now?" I asked. He laughed about that for some reason, but barely shook and stayed upside down. Showoff.

"Um, Edward? Weren't you supposed to be showing me how to _get down_? You might have a hard time doing that if you stay like that all day," I reminded him. And he managed to reverse the original motion from the handstand, coming back onto his feet instead of landing flat on his back. _And here I was hoping he would fall over. Oh well._

The rest of the visit continued in the same way, with me attempting to show off my skill at flipping over and, usually at least, not falling on my butt. And Edward did the same a few times when I kept bothering him about it. Most surprising of all however, was how much he seemed to actually be enjoying himself. Depressed zombie Edward seemed to be temporarily on vacation. At least I knew my efforts were mildly successful. Besides, I had thoroughly enjoyed myself too.


	5. Manipulation

Eventually, we had to come back inside. I was satisfied to see Edward was reluctant to stop too. The small smile on his face remained in place as we came into the house, which seemed to utterly shock the rest of his family as well. Just how long had he been like this? I thought it was just some bad mood he would get over in a few days. His expression changed when mom walked back into the room, however. Shoot. He'd gone back to zombie land. And I was pretty sure I'd figured out why.

"Time to go, Allison," mom told me. I rolled my eyes so she couldn't see.

"Before you make things worse," I mumbled. I reluctantly followed her out to the car, wondering what she'd done to Edward and furthermore, why she wasn't trying to fix it. Couldn't she see how unhappy she was making him? Maybe I was missing something. Regardless, I had to know. I brought it up as soon as she pulled the car away from the house.

"Why'd you have to ruin it?" I asked her bluntly.

"Hmm?" She didn't seem to be paying attention. Nobody ever expects a six-year-old to say anything important. No matter what mom thought, it was time to get this over with.

"Mom! You're not paying attention!" The glazed look began to leave her eyes.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I let out an annoyed sigh before responding.

"Why'd you have to ruin it?"

"What are you talking about?"  
"He was happy, sort of, and you had to come in and make him depressed again!" She stopped the car abruptly and shifted into park. I definitely had her full attention now.

"And what makes you think that?" she asked, her voice shaking just enough for me to notice. How could anyone not notice? Was she really that blind to what she was doing?

"Every time he sees you, he just…stops. I don't know exactly, he just gets really depressed every time you come into the room." It sounded harsh, but I thought it was necessary. What was a small amount of discomfort on my mom's part compared to the pain my new friend had been in for who knows how long? Mom was silent. She started driving toward home again. My first instinct was that she was ignoring me. But I could tell from the tension in her face and the crease between her eyes that she couldn't stop thinking about what I had told her. Neither of us said a word for the rest of the ride. I began to feel guilty for even bringing the subject up.

"Mom…it's okay, I didn't mean it," I said, trying to apologize. She hugged me and gave me a sad smile.

"Don't worry about it, Allison. It's alright." She was trying to reassure me, but she'd never been a good liar. I could tell she was still upset by what I'd said. But I didn't know any way to help. I decided to try and let it go, following her attempted example.

Later that night, I could hear her and dad talking in the living room. I carefully snuck out of bed and lay flat on the floor next to my bedroom door to listen.

"…don't know if it would help or hurt to stop coming," mom said helplessly, "Maybe it would be better to be apart and not be a constant reminder for him. But, the one time I caught him looking happy was when he was outside with Allison earlier."

"What do you want to do?" dad asked.

"I honestly don't know. I don't want to keep hurting them. I can tell it hurts almost as much for the rest of them when Edward is like that. Everything almost feels normal unless he's in the room. I know I make things worse when he's there. What should I do?"

There was a pause. "You know what would make me more comfortable, but this isn't about me. I can help, but I can't make your decisions for you."

I heard a faint sigh. "I know." Another long pause followed. "There has to be another way! It can't all just boil down to forcing them to leave again or torturing them every time I visit!" Mom spoke frantically, sounding less coherent as she went on, "And even if I did have them leave, I'd be taking away the only thing that seems to make Edward forget about me, if only for a few moments! No matter what I do, I'm making matters worse!"

This was starting to sound illogical to me. If I was the one who helped Edward, and she could only hurt him, and she wanted to continue to visit the other Cullens, wouldn't it be easiest for her to only see some of the family? She was being absolutely ridiculous. But if I came out of the bedroom now, they would both know I'd been eavesdropping the entire time. Maybe if I was subtle enough, I would be able to make them see reason. I walked back to my bed, tucking myself in. I tossed and turned for a few minutes, making a point of making noise. When I heard mom and dad stop talking, I sat up and coughed just enough to get their attention. I wandered out of bed and out the door, blinking in the bright light.

"What are you doing up, Allison?" mom asked.

I cleared my throat a little before talking. "I just wanted to get a drink of water," I said, sounding just tired enough to make them believe I had been sleeping. Mom got up and got me a glass. After I had finished, I cleared my throat again and started walking slowly back toward the bedroom. But, before I got all the way there, I paused. "Oh, I almost forgot! Am I going back to visit Edward next week?" I asked, putting a slight emphasis on "I" and "Edward".

"I'm not sure yet, honey. We'll talk about it in the morning," mom said uncertainly. I nodded sleepily and went back to bed, stirring to convince them I had gone to sleep. I snuck back to the door to find they were talking again.

"…sure that would be safe?" my dad asked with a slight edge to his voice.

"I'm sure; he would be completely in control."

"As long as you're sure, I suppose that's alright. But, I swear, if anything happens to her…"

"Stop. She'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"

In my mind, all of this translated as "mission successful".


	6. Birthday

_Twelve years later_

I woke to the shrill sound of my alarm. It wasn't as though I had anything against high school, but making me wake up at six in the morning was cruel and unusual punishment for a teenager used to sleeping until noon just a week before. Not only that, but that year, the first day of school was the same as my eighteenth birthday. And this was supposed to be a year I'd remember for the rest of my life; it was my senior year of high school. I smacked the alarm, but only succeeded in knocking it on the floor instead of hitting the snooze button. Of course mom had to choose that time to come in, smirking at my bleary-eyed attempts to make my alarm clock shut up.

"I see you're excited to get to school," she remarked. I half fell out of bed, yawning.

"I would be if it wasn't so dark; it definitely looks like naptime to me," I retorted. But I started to get ready for school despite wanting to lie down and hibernate for a few hours. I went to the bathroom to try and wake myself up with a shower. I looked at myself in the mirror, half-expecting to see some change. Not really. I looked just the same as I had yesterday. I was the same tall, thin, girl with brown eyes, pale skin, and black hair tangled almost beyond repair. Oh well. What had I thought was going to happen? I wasn't going to change overnight. Lost in my own world, I guess I spent longer getting ready than I really needed to. I didn't come back to earth until I heard my brother banging on the door.

"Allison! Move it!" he complained. Connor was still as annoying at fourteen as he was at two. The only difference was size. He'd been growing like a weed all summer. If it wasn't for mom, I'd feel like a shrimp. I yanked the door open and shoved past Connor.

"All yours, stickman," I told him. He looked down to give me an annoyed look, mumbling, "Dwarf," before he closed the door. I rolled my eyes.

"Mom, is there any way I can convince you to drive me to school early? Either that, or you can just let Connor drive me nuts," I asked.

"Well, now I know why I was an only child," she joked.

"Mom!"

"Just wait until your brother's out of the shower."

"Fine." I snatched a couple of pancakes from the counter, giving an exaggerated sigh. Great. Now I would be stuck driving my brother to school too. Either that, or I'd have a long way to walk. At least Connor didn't take his sweet time in the shower; he was out within five minutes. Of course, he didn't appreciate when I told him it was probably because he had no need to shave yet.

Mom came up behind me and covered my eyes with her hands. I squirmed, and she just nudged me forward and told me not to peek. I walked forward, confused when I felt a breeze running through my hair and leaves crunching underneath my feet. Finally, we stopped.

"You can look now," mom said, removing her hands. My dad, mom, and brother were all grouped around an old motorcycle with a bow skillfully attached to one of the handlebars.

"Oh my god! You bought me a bike?" I exclaimed, running my hand across the slightly worn seat. I had learned to ride over the summer on mom and dad's old bikes, but they were very protective of those. Apparently it was how they starting hanging out together as teenagers.

"Well…'saved' is probably more accurate," dad said, "Someone was going to throw it out, but I figured it wouldn't take too much to fix it up." So that was why he had spent so much time in the garage lately. I hadn't really suspected anything because they never officially told me to stay out of there.

"Just make sure not to tell your grandfather," mom said, laughing, "He was angry enough when he found out I had been riding one. If he hears I'm letting you out on a motorcycle, he'd start turning colors."

"Wow…thanks guys!" I hugged each of them on hopped on the bike. I carefully edged out of the driveway, giving the semblance of responsibility, until I was out of sight of the house. It was time to see what this thing was capable of. I gave it more speed and lurched forward with a satisfying snarl from the bike. I zipped along gracefully, leaning into the curves and becoming increasingly thankful there was no significant traffic to slow me down. I was thoroughly happy it was my birthday by the time I skid to a stop in front of the school.

*****

Since my morning had turned out to be extraordinary, I had high hopes for my first day of school. However, school was even more boring than usual. In every single class, the teacher did at least two of three lectures. First, they reminded us that this was our senior year, and this would be different from our earlier years at high school. Second, they had us play "getting to know you" games that would have been entertaining in kindergarten, maybe. I really don't understand the point of this when my graduating class was set to be under forty. Most of us knew the names of all the kids in our class, the names of all the kids' siblings, and probably the names of their dogs. Third, they reminded us that the time for college applications was lurking just around the corner and how much different college would be from high school.

By the time school was over, I was fully awake, mostly because I had slept through half of my classes. At least there wasn't any homework, barring the syllabi my teachers insisted on having my parents sign. I was getting some bad kindergarten vibes from this year so far. I darted out of my last seat the moment the bell rang, looking forward to both riding my motorcycle again and visiting the Cullens. Alice and Edward were two of my best friends, which was odd. What kind of normal teenager voluntarily spends time with her mom's friends? Maybe it was because of what a normal conversation with anyone my age was like. Namely, everything that came out of my mouth made any boy within a ten foot radius to spout off "that's what she said." So I guess I had an issue with immaturity. Hanging out with forty-something year olds was a solution to that.

I turned onto the Cullens' long driveway and revved the engine again. I expertly sped through the twists in the drive, which is probably why Alice was waiting outside the house glaring at me when I arrived. I casually dismounted my bike and grinned in return.

"What do you think you're doing? Riding a motorcycle like a madman without a helmet!" she lectured me. It was kind of funny how I was slightly afraid of someone who was shorter than me by nine inches.

"Come on, Alice. We both know you drive _way_ faster than that. And you're just as likely to crash and smear yourself on the highway as I am. Heck, you're at least twenty years older than me, so you're probably even _more _likely to crash," I joked, trying to blow the whole situation off. But Alice didn't seem convinced; although she seemed unable to find something to convince me I was wrong. She huffed once and let me inside. When I entered the house, I felt my mouth drop open. Pink balloons and streamers were hanging absolutely everywhere. Okay, to be honest, I expected Alice to do something like this for my birthday. But usually, I had Edward as my ally to reel her in.

"Happy birthday, Allison!" Alice trilled. Ugh. _This ought to be interesting. Perhaps now is the time to remind her that I am not an oversized doll._ Mom had told me about the times back when she and Alice were in high school. Alice had practically made her into a giant Barbie. Personally, I preferred doing something more active than getting dressed up, like running or riding. Alice thought I was abnormal. I agreed, but I didn't really care. I gave Alice a skeptical look.

"If this is another attempt to make me into a normal female, I swear…" I whispered. She just grinned and tried to look innocent. Thankfully, the rest of the family came in then. It struck me then, as it always had when I visited the Cullens, how young all of the family looked. Even though Esme and Carlisle had gray hair, they still looked much younger than their supposed fifty or so years. It reminded me of the time I worked backstage for a play when I was fourteen. All the actors who were playing older characters still looked rather young up close. The makeup they wore only fooled people from a distance. Most of the family looked like they were only playing temporary roles. They looked a lot like teenagers experimenting with stage makeup, really. Judging by the size of their house and property, I suspected plastic surgery. Evidently Carlisle used to be a doctor. I suppose I wouldn't be surprised.

I subtly edged toward Edward, who looked like he was on another planet. I tapped his shoulder impatiently. "Hello? Earth to Edward?" I said pointedly. He shook his head as if to clear it and looked somewhat confused. "Can you promise me something? Save me from Alice," I said. He smiled and nodded his head once. Somehow he still seemed distant. Alice enthusiastically steered me toward one of the white couches in the living room and shoved a pile of presents into my lap. I rolled my eyes and reached for the first one, which disappeared suddenly. Edward had taken it, and was opening it himself. He fluidly ripped off the wrapping paper and handed me the box.

"Are you sure I can handle lifting the lid?" I asked sarcastically. I swear I saw him flinch after that. A few moments later, I, with the annoying help of Edward, uncovered a motorcycle helmet from Alice and Jasper.

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully, with three exceptions. First, Edward continued to insist on removing the wrapping paper from each of my gifts. Second, the family all seemed to be expecting something to happen; and Edward was mostly lost in a different world, but not the zombie state my mom seemed to inflict upon him, it seemed more like reminiscing. Third, I was the only one in the family who ate any of the cake.


	7. Running as Fast as I Can

The kindergarten déjà vu I had experienced on the first day of my senior year didn't last. Within a couple of days, coursework was piled on and more stressful emphasis was placed on college applications. Meanwhile, I was also training for the small cross country team at my school. I thought I was doing well, managing to nearly break six minutes for my first mile, but I felt somewhat unmotivated. The need for attention I had possessed as a child had developed into a fierce need for competition. I noticed I always ran faster when there was someone with me. So I got into the habit of going training with Edward's help. I was somewhat self conscious when we ran after I came back from school because the Cullens always seemed a second away from bursting out laughing. That included Edward.

Edward was one of the best training partners I had that year. I could pretty much outrun everybody else in my school and they started to tire trying to keep up after a few minutes. Edward, on the other hand, never seemed to get tired at all. It was difficult to tell sometimes, because of the rain, but I wasn't entirely sure he even broke a sweat. It was a lot more useful working to keep up with someone than jogging backwards and teasing the person behind me until they could pick up the pace. The other students at my school should be embarrassed. Edward was at least mom's age, and he could outrun any one of them in a heartbeat.

I saw our mile marker coming up ahead and I drew on my last reserves of energy to sprint to the finish. Edward did the same and stayed in the lead. I passed the marker, ending the timer on my stopwatch, and slowed to a stop. Slightly out of breath, I read the time off,

"5:32, better at least," I said. It was a personal best for me, but I was still frustrated that I couldn't seem to outrun Edward, who didn't seem worn out in the slightest. He was casually leaning against a tree beside the trail and glanced at his wrist.

"5:28," he said, smirking. Usually, the person completely unfazed at the end of a run was me, teasing the other person about how pathetically slow they were. I was not a fan of being on the receiving end of that, even if I deserved it for losing to someone at least twenty years older than me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're absolutely impossible, Edward. I don't know how, but you have to be cheating," I informed him. I tried to think how he could possibly cheat when he was within view the entire time. "Hmm…you don't happen to be a hologram by any chance?" He looked at me incredulously. "You're probably at home right now controlling it…there's only one way to prove that though," I said. I slowly moved my hand through the air, finally running into his bare arm. It felt ridiculously cold. I removed my hand. Maybe he was more affected by running than I thought. I frowned and he smiled nervously.

"So, what's the verdict?" he asked.

"Well, you're definitely real. But are you feeling okay? Your arm feels all clammy," I said. He clenched his jaw slightly. Evidently I'd struck a nerve. I could tell he was trying hard to think up some excuse, so I decided to get it over with and be candid. "Look, if you don't feel like you can keep doing this, it's completely fine. I can go running with Connor or something. I don't want you to get sick," I said. I touched his forehead to see if I was just imagining things, but that was insanely cold too. "Alright, that's it. I'm taking you home," I declared. I walked next to him on the way back, watching carefully for any sign he was about to pass out or something. When he realized what I was doing, he tried visibly not to laugh. What was his problem, anyway? Edward passing out in the middle of the trail and me dragging him the rest of the way to his house were definitely not funny. We got back without incident and I marched over to Esme to explain everything.

"He seems to think he's fine, but he feels really cold to me. I think he needs a break for a while," I told her. She looked concerned, but I could tell her eyes were laughing. What was going on with these people? Edward looks like he might be about to keel over and everyone seems to think it's funny? I headed out to my motorcycle, calling "Feel better, Edward," over my shoulder. I could have sworn I heard him laughing as I shut the door behind me.

The next day, of course, I had to find someone else to train with. And, as much as I hated to admit it, my brother was probably the best candidate. What he didn't have in training he could probably make up with stride length. Connor was four years younger than me, but six inches taller. Why did everyone in my family, except mom obviously, need to make me feel like a dwarf?

We ran on a different trail than I usually took, one that was steeper and went deeper into the woods. Since I hadn't gotten a chance to measure the distance on this trail yet, we just jogged. It was very comfortable, actually. That is, until he broke the peaceful silence.

"You're spending an awful lot of time with the Cullens," he blurted suddenly. I glared at him.

"Your point being?" I asked through clenched teeth. He shrugged.

"I don't like it," he said bluntly. I stopped running abruptly. Connor followed suit.

"Oh? And why's that?" I asked, my voice lowering to a hiss. He gave another frustrating shrug.

"I'm not sure _why_ exactly. I suppose I'd call it instinct. Something isn't right about them. I can't quite pin it down, but every time I see one of them it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end," he said. If looks could kill, he would have been a pile of ashes in moments. What reason did he have for attacking the Cullens like this? He threw his hands up helplessly. "Why do you like them so much anyway? They're even older than mom, and what's his face, the one you always seem to be hanging out with, doesn't exactly seem like a ray of sunshine. It's unnatural."

"I like them because they are good people; and they've been nothing but good to me, so I don't know where all this 'sixth sense feeling' crap is coming from. And _Edward_ is depressed, ever heard of it? You can be such a giant jerk sometimes," I hissed. Connor just stood there with a dumbfounded look on his face. I sighed in frustration. "You know, you're completely _hopeless_. I'm going home," I told him. I turned around to follow the trail back out of the woods, hearing Connor's loping strides behind me.

After a few minutes, I saw another person on the path. She was leaning on a tree casually, probably just catching her breath. I forced a polite smile as I started to run past. I felt her eyes on me the entire time. The sound of Connor's strides stopped. I jogged back to where he was standing, a short distance from the mystery jogger. Why had he stopped? The woman seemed relatively normal when I glanced at her. She was wearing black pants and a black tank top, and her dark brown hair cascaded down her back. But then I got a closer look.

Her eyes made my heart skip a beat. They were a rich crimson color, obviously not human. And the predatory smile on her face made me want nothing more than to run and never come back. I cautiously shook Connor's shoulder, trying to get him to move.

"Connor, let's get out of here," I whispered urgently. But Connor remained locked in his trance and the woman laughed lightly.

"Foolish little human girl. I seriously doubt running would help. I could even give you a day's head start and everything would end the same," she said with an unpleasant smirk on her face. I tried once again to yank Connor out of the way to no avail. She cocked her head to the side and actually _sniffed_ the air. She let out a slow breath.

"I believe I should start with you, girl. Your friend here smells most…unappetizing," she said with a glint in her horrifying red eyes. She took a step toward me and I clumsily tripped over my own feet as I backed away.

The next few minutes were a blur.

As the woman approached me slowly, seeming to savor every step, Connor started shaking violently. Annoyed by the distraction, she turned toward him instead. But her smug look transformed into a horror that matched my own as my brother exploded out of his clothes into a giant, snarling wolf. I watched wide eyed as the wolf lunged at my attacker with inhuman speed. I wanted to scream but no sound would come out. I heard distant growling. Within moments, several more wolves flooded into the small area. Metallic screeching filled the air as the wolves swarmed upon the woman. Something white landed near me. It was a hand, crawling of its own accord even after being separated from its body. A small scream escaped me and I stumbled back into the woods, desperately trying to escape the nightmare I had stumbled into. As I ran, leaving the sounds of growling and screeching behind me, I didn't care that I was not on the trail. I didn't know where I was going but I knew where I _needed_ to go; away. The trees thinned up ahead and I pushed my muscles harder, hoping to reach some semblance of safety before the wolves followed me. In my hurry, I tripped over a root, twisting my ankle and slamming my head into a rather unyielding stone at the same time. I slipped into unconsciousness, the last sounds I heard was the distant howling of wolves.


	8. Impossible Truth

As I woke up, I realized I was in my own bed. Had any of the past few hours actually happened? What I remembered certainly felt like a ridiculous dream. Being attacked by a strange red-eyed woman in the middle of the forest was weird enough. But Connor transforming into a giant wolf was simply insane. _Well, at least Connor would probably find the dream interesting._

I threw off the covers and realized something was wrong. For one, I was wearing the shorts and t-shirt I had been wearing in the dream. My hands were covered with a variety of small scrapes and, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw a huge lump on my forehead. I touched it lightly, trying to convince myself that I was seeing things. I winced as I touched it; this was definitely real. But there had to be some other explanation! Was I really supposed to believe that my brother had transformed into a wolf and ripped some inhuman predator apart? I cautiously walked out of my room. Mom was the only one home, evidently. She looked almost as stressed as I was. She looked up as I sank into the couch next to her.

"Oh, good, you're up," she said, nervously smiling for a split second. "How are you feeling?"

"Um, okay, I guess," I managed, "What happened?" I asked, hoping for some sort of halfway sane explanation for everything I remembered.

"You just tripped while you were out running and hit your head," she said. It was too obvious she was lying, or at least avoiding something. Mom was easy to read. I only had to raise my eyebrows skeptically for her to break. She sighed. "Okay, how much do you remember?"

"I'm going to start with Connor turning into a freaking giant wolf," I said hysterically.

"I was really hoping you weren't going to say that," she said, half-smiling. She was giving me the impression that she'd been expecting this. _Okay, it's official. Mom has gone insane_.

"You _expected_ me to say that?! Let me spell it out. Connor. Turned. Into. A. Wolf. How is that normal?" I asked, my voice climbing an octave. Normally, I wasn't one for panicking, but this seemed like a perfect time to panic. I was expected mom to try and calm me down. But she decided to make it worse.

"Your father was one too," she said. _What?!_ That was almost the last thing I had expected her to say. My mouth dropped open.

"Explain," I whispered.

"Do you remember the stories your father and I used to tell you and Connor when you were young?" she started. I nodded jerkily. "Well, to put things simply, most of what we've told you is completely true. Werewolves exist, vampires exist." What she was saying was crazy. It was insane. But it was true.

"But what about the vampire?" I asked, realizing the identity of the red-eyed attacker.

"Don't worry about that. Apparently the pack took care of her," she said, a shadow crossing her expression. "Please don't go running by yourself anymore. It's dangerous," she added.

"From what I remember from those stories, I doubt bringing somebody along would be much help in the first place," I countered. She frowned. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just…stay inside the border lines. I want to make sure you stay safe," she said, sighing again. "Speaking of 'safe', you're going to have to stay somewhere else for a while."

"Why? Like you said, we're inside the border. I shouldn't have to worry about vampires over here, really," I wondered.

"I'm not talking about vampires. Your brother just phased for the first time. If you think you're shocked by what happened today, imagine how he's feeling. It's going to take him a while to adjust to everything. I already packed your things. You're going to stay at Grandpa's for a while. It's best if you're not here until he gains better control."

"You're kidding. Connor wouldn't hurt me."

"You don't understand. He's going to be dangerous until he can control himself. Obviously it wouldn't be intentional, but there is every possibility that he could hurt you."

"What about you and dad?"

"We've both dealt with young werewolves in our time," she smiled, "We'll be fine."

I sank further into the couch, trying to absorb everything she had just told me. My dad was an ex-werewolf, my brother was a werewolf, vampires existed, and I was getting kicked out of my house for an indefinite amount of time. Wait. If dad had been a werewolf, and my brother was one now, where did that leave me?

"Mom, if the stories are true, what about me?" I asked. Mom frowned.

"Allison, I don't think this is something you have to worry about. Only one woman has ever phased before."

"That's not really helping," I said, tensing. If one woman had phased, who was to say that I couldn't? Mom thought for a moment.

"If you were going to phase, you would have done so when you and Connor were being attacked by the vampire. And, even if for some reason you didn't phase, but still had the gene for it, you would have been able to tell the difference between a vampire and a human by the smell alone. I've heard it's overwhelming, almost painful." That sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place the thought. I did remember the vampire sniffing the air and calling Connor "unappetizing". Maybe vampires had the same reaction to the scent of werewolves. Either way, hearing that I wouldn't spontaneously explode into a giant wolf was relieving.

"Okay," I said hesitantly. Mom got up and left me with my thoughts. I really needed to get out of here. I needed to leave all the thoughts of supernatural beings behind me for the moment. I needed a distraction.

I rose off the couch abruptly, scribbling a note on a scrap of paper as I went.

_Mom- I went to visit the Cullens. Allison._

I sped off toward Forks on my motorcycle, savoring the way the speed of the bike cleared my head of everything. As I parked in front of the Cullens' house, Alice was the first to greet me, as always. Edward wasn't far behind. Both of them looked worried beyond belief. _I suppose I have been passed out for a while._ Alice hugged me tighter than usual.

"Are you alright? I s-heard that you knocked yourself out running," she said quickly. I smiled sarcastically.

"And you thought I was going to go flying over the handlebars of my bike; I guess the klutz gene finally showed up! Tripping over a tree takes hidden talent, I guess," I rambled, assuming the werewolves were a secret. I could tell from the looks they exchanged that they didn't believe me. But they had the decency to pretend they did.

I could tell everyone in the house was trying very hard to emphasize that nothing was different, but I could tell how uneasy everyone was. It was kind of an overreaction for me tripping. There had to be something else. It seemed as if I wasn't the only one trying to hide something. If they were, they were far better at it than me. It took a long time every time someone spoke to me to derail my train of thought from "my brother's a werewolf" and replace it with something most people would consider sane. So I tried to act normal, and failed badly. I was still in a state of shock. Eventually, Alice left to do something with Jasper. Edward seemed content just to sit there while I debated whether to tell him the truth of what had happened. What was the worst that could happen?

"Do you mind if we take a walk?" I asked suddenly. Edward nodded cautiously. As we walked through the woods behind his house, I worked up the courage to tell him the truth. _He's been one of your best friends for years now; just say it. _

"So, I wasn't entirely honest earlier," I started, looking at the ground. "I found out today that the stories I heard as a kid were true." To my confusion, Edward didn't look very surprised. His calmness was really unnerving. I lost it. "I got attacked by a vampire and my brother turned into a freaking giant _wolf_!" I screamed in one breath. He still wasn't telling me I was crazy. Instead, he looked _amused_. "I don't see anything funny about this," I huffed.

"I wasn't laughing," he pointed out. As he stared at me with an amused grin on his face, I realized something important. I felt the blood drain from my face. Edward noticed and his expression froze.

"Edward, the borderline," I started, frowning; "Your family isn't inside the pack's territory. They can't protect you," I finished. The corners of his eyes twitched. Then he burst out laughing. _So I tell him his family might get attacked by vampires and he laughs at me? What the heck? _"It's not funny Edward." He only laughed harder. "Oh shut up!" Edward stopped laughing at least, but still had a ridiculous grin on his face. _Well, what did I expect anyway? If someone told me vampires and werewolves really existed yesterday, I probably would have laughed too. I knew no one would believe me. At least I tried._ I stalked away. He followed me, easily keeping up with my long strides.

"What was that you were saying about the klutz gene earlier?" he teased. I had no idea one person had the ability to be so annoying. Normally, I would have been elated that he was in such a good mood, even when referring to my mom. But today was an exception; I was justly stressed out and Edward was really getting on my nerves. _This proves that I'm not a wolf more than anything. If I was, I'd phase right now._ I stopped abruptly.

"You know, Edward, this is just like a horror movie," I snapped.

"Oh? Why's that?" he asked nonchalantly. There was a small flicker in his eyes, which I had learned meant he was uncomfortable. _Good. Maybe I can knock some sense into him._

"Well, there're monsters out there, and only a select few believe they exist," I hissed. His smile became more strained when I referred to monsters. "You know what's next. There will be a few mysterious disappearances, which everyone in the vicinity will explain off as something else. A select few people know what is really going on and they try and warn everyone. The people who hear the truth have two reactions, people who don't believe but unconsciously listen to the storyteller and those who purely don't believe at all. Guess who the horror movies kill off first? They off the people who thought such things could never happen to them. I have a feeling I shouldn't tell everyone, but I needed to get this off my chest, and I thought my best friend was the best person to do that with. I just don't want you to turn into one of the early casualties in this horror movie we're apparently living in." It felt very cathartic to blurt out what had been running through my mind ever since Edward laughed at my belief in the existence of vampires. Evidently, it also stopped him following me. He just stood there, looking shocked and confused.


	9. Evidence

I walked the rest of the way to the house and sped home on my bike. Knowing Charlie wouldn't approve of my birthday present while I was stuck living in Forks, mom drove me back. I was seething when I got there, barely capable of putting on a happy face for Charlie.

I dragged myself up to my mom's old room and flopped on the bed. All the problems of today kept running through my mind. _My brother's a werewolf. I was attacked by a vampire. My best friend is probably going to get killed by a vampire because he won't listen to me_. I had to rid my head of this train of thought. I dug through my bags until I found my birthday present from Charlie, a blank photo album to document my senior year. Evidently this had become a tradition of sorts with him. Remembering the past was just the thing to distract me from my disturbing present.

I dug through the dusty boxes in mom's old closet until I found a huge box of old pictures. I added it to the small pile of prints I had gotten this year from my new camera. The pictures from the closet were ancient, at least by my standards. There were several old baby pictures of me and Connor, along with a few pictures of mom in school. I particularly liked a picture of me holding a newborn Connor. He was set in my lap and obviously screaming his head off. I had a horrified look on my face that screamed "whatever this is, get this thing off me!" Laughing under my breath, I tucked that picture on the front page. I found a few boxes of pictures labeled with a year and "Bella". I opened the one of mom's senior year curiously.

Whoever had put the pictures in here had meticulously labeled them with dates on the back. And after going through the stack several times, I noticed a huge gap in the documentation. There were absolutely no pictures of mom until March, three months before her graduation. It was almost as if she hadn't existed for six months. The pictures that were there were dominated by my dad. As the dates passed by, mom's smile seemed to grow exponentially. I put the last picture, one of her in a cap and gown smiling broadly between Charlie and dad, neatly back into the box with the rest. Oddly enough, I hadn't seen any of the Cullens in these pictures. I knew Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper had been in college during mom's senior year, but where were Edward and Alice? I would have thought she would have some pictures of her friends from high school _during_ high school.

I took the next box, for the summer after her senior year, out. The pictures started out much the same as the last box, with the small exception of dad's hair getting longer. That was, until I got to the end of the box. The first odd picture showed mom sitting on an old couch in her living room with her legs stretched out, leaning against dad. Both of her legs were wrapped in huge casts and ugly yellow splotches were on her face and arms. It was dated August 31st. _Sheesh, mom. What happened here? _I assumed there must have been a car accident or something at that point and replaced that box.

I stopped the pointless rummaging through my mom's life and took out my own prints. I flipped through several pictures of my friends, finally selecting one of me and Edward, Edward with a rare genuine smile on his face. I stuck a few other pictures of me and my other friends and my family. I put the box of mom's old pictures back in her closet and turned to put mine in the nightstand, when I tripped. _Maybe I wasn't completely lying about the klutz thing._ I looked behind me to see what I'd tripped over, a loose floorboard.

I gripped it gingerly. Evidently, it was very loose; it came almost all the way out of its slot. I was about to replace it, when a glint of something caught my eye. Frowning, I reached into the small space under the floorboard and grabbed it. It was a CD. I pushed the board up further and saw that was not the only thing hidden. I cleared the hiding space and laid the items on the bedspread. Apart from the CD, there were two vouchers for plane tickets to Florida, which had expired over twenty years ago, and several more photographs. I flipped one over. September 13th. Here were the missing pictures. I turned it back over. It was a picture of Edward with his arm around mom. He looked more at ease than I'd ever seen him.

I also found some older pictures, from the end mom's junior year through the summer before her senior year. My mouth dropped open when I saw one from that May. It was a picture of Edward and mom, my mom's leg in a cast, at prom. _Mom and Edward were dating? Someone has some explaining to do._

But the things hidden under the floorboards and the pictures of mom and Edward themselves weren't the most important things I found.

I bent to pick my photo album, open to a picture of me and Edward. I put the album on the bed, setting the picture from mom's birthday next to it. Mom looked really young in the picture, but Edward hadn't changed at all. My breath quickened. I wasn't exaggerating. He literally had not changed _at all_. In the interim decades, mom's hair had begun to gray and she had a couple of laugh lines and small wrinkles beginning to form. I kept glancing from the birthday picture to the modern picture, hoping something would change. But nothing had. His face was exactly the same. Even his hair was precisely the same length it had been years ago. _This isn't possible!_

But the evidence crashed over me like a wave. Connor and dad could never stand to be near them. Mom and dad dragged me away from the Cullens' house when I started bleeding. He never sweated or got tired when we ran. His skin was cold. He wasn't surprised about the existence of werewolves. I slipped the pictures in my pocket and asked Charlie to drive me to the Cullens'. There was only one reasonable explanation for all of this, and I intended to drag it out of him.

When Edward let me in, I was satisfied to see he was nervous to see me. I smiled innocently at him. Then I decided to have some fun.

"So I was working on my photo album to, you know, get my mind off things…you aren't hungry are you? This might take a while," I said.

"I just ate," he said. I smiled patronizingly.

"Of course you did," I said. _I'm really going to enjoy this_. "Anyway, I tripped over this floorboard, because you know how _clumsy_ I am, at least when I think I might be getting chased by something that wants to kill me," I continued sarcastically. His face tightened. Edward wasn't dumb. I knew he could tell where this was going. "Oh, right! You still don't think vampires exist! How silly of me!" I laughed. "You'll never guess what I found under the stupid board. There were a couple of expired flight vouchers, and I mean _really _expired. They were worthless before I was even _born_. There was this CD under there too. But that wasn't the interesting part! I found _tons_ of pictures of you and mom together. It was funny because I couldn't find any anywhere else," I paused for effect. "But _that's_ not the weird part! There was a picture of the two of you at prom!" I said, pulling the picture from jeans pocket and showing it to him. "But _that's _not the weird part!" I said, yanking two other pictures out of my pockets. _Time for the big finale_. "I have this picture of us from two weeks ago, and this picture of you and mom from thirty years ago. Guess what? You don't look any different now. Actually you look _exactly the same_. Isn't that weird?" I asked, letting my expression become less innocent. He opened his mouth, presumably to try and explain, but I wasn't done yet. "And a few hours before I found the pictures, I was told that _vampires_ exist!" I looked from the pictures to Edward, faking extreme concentration. Then I put my hand to his forehead again. "Hmm, all we're missing is red eyes," I said. A long pause followed.

"I can explain," he started.

"If you say _one word_ about me imagining things…" I trailed off. _I'm sure the vampire's simply terrified of you, Allison_. Edward hesitated again, obviously measuring whether he should tell me the truth. It had to be the truth. He sighed.

"You're right," he said quietly. _I would have expected him to drag this out further_. "I can see you will refuse to accept any other explanation. I'm sure your parents would have told you soon enough anyway." We both stood there in shocked silence for a few minutes. So my parents had known about the Cullens all along. _Nice. My parents didn't even bother telling me my best friends were vampires._ I was starting to feel panicked again. I couldn't stop myself from replaying the last couple of days in my head over and over again, striving to remember normalcy. I only succeeded in finding innumerable signs I had discounted that showed the true nature of my friends and family. The pictures flashed through my mind in stark detail. Connor suddenly shot up in an unexpected growth spurt, beginning to tower over me. Edward leaned against a tree casually, completely unfazed by a grueling run. The female vampire stared at me hungrily with crimson eyes. Connor exploded into a horse-sized wolf, attacking her. Something seemed off. Every image of the Cullens running through my mind did not entirely fit with the image of the other vampire. She had been what I had imagined when I heard the stories about vampires and werewolves when I was younger. The feral look and red eyes were exactly as I remembered. _Red eyes?_ I flicked through my mental pictures again. I was absolutely positive that the Cullens were vampires, but none of them had red eyes. Their eyes were varying shades of gold. I met Edward's eyes. Was he like my and Connor's attacker? Did he lie in wait for hikers in the woods? I swallowed dryly. I needed to just come out and ask. It was better to get this off my chest instead of letting it consume me.

"Why aren't you like the vampire from the trail?" I blurted, "Not that I ever believed them, but I've heard stories about vampires since I was a kid…" _Spit it out!_ "Is there any particular reason you don't have red eyes?" _Smooth, Allison._ Edward didn't seem bothered by the question at least. He even smiled a little.

"My family and I are vegetarians," he said. One of my eyebrows shot up. I had the weirdest image in my head of Dracula in shorts and a headband, cooking tofu and tossing fruit in a blender.

"Literally?" I asked skeptically. Edward burst out laughing.

"We only feed off of animals; it gradually turns our eyes gold rather than red," he informed me. I let that sink in for a minute. At least my best friends weren't killing people. That was definitely a plus. Slowly but surely, I was actually beginning to accept my werewolf family and vampire friends as _normal_. _I'm definitely losing it. Oh well._

"Okay, I'm willing to forgive you for being annoying earlier, as long as I don't leave here unaware of any other _surprises_ I should know about," I said suddenly. He relaxed some more at the change of mood.

"Well, I can read minds," he said casually. _Oh, you have got to be kidding me_.


	10. Bella's Story

Werewolf or no werewolf, I thought I deserved to know why my parents had kept everything from me for so long. As soon as I got back to Charlie's, I ran over to the phone and angrily dialed home. I heard ringing echo over the line three times before the answering machine clicked on. Frustrated, I left a message. "Hey, it's Allison. I was digging around for pictures in mom's old room and found some…weird stuff there. Maybe you could come over for dinner or something?" I paused awkwardly, then finally hung up.

I went upstairs and flopped down on the bed, kicking my shoes off. The stress of the past couple of days was starting to get to me. My eyes fluttered shut of their own accord and I slept.

_I was in the middle of a forest. The complete silence surrounding me told me I was alone. Instinctively, I knew I was in this night-darkened place for a reason. I stood completely still for a few moments, listening for any hint of my purpose here. The crushing silence endured. _

_ I finally decided to begin moving, but before I had taken one step, I heard the crash of underbrush as someone, or something, made its way toward me. Curious, I stalked toward the noise. I quickly encountered the noise's source. It was a young woman, roughly my age, standing a few inches shorter than me with dark brown hair. I was close enough to hear her panicked breathing as she continued to crash clumsily through the underbrush in an oddly familiar way. She was directly in front of me when she stumbled. Without thinking, I caught her, preventing her from sinking completely to the ground. She stared at me with a reflection of my own eyes. I knew who she was._

_ "Mom?" I ventured to ask. Her wild, desperate expression became confused. _Of course she would be confused, _I thought_. _Mom was in her late teens here. I tried again. "Bella?" Her face cleared somewhat, although the painful haunted expression remained. _What happened to her?_ Through the barely masked pain, I saw she was carefully examining my face, lingering on my eyes, exactly identical to hers. _

_ "Who are you?" she whispered. I flashed her a smile, happy she was trying to focus on something else. She reminded me a lot of Edward, always focusing on painful things and making himself feel much worse in the end. I opened my mouth to speak, but the landscape dissolved rapidly around me. Before the dream dissolved completely, I saw realization dawn on mom's face._

I woke up with a jerk, feeling as if I'd fallen into the bed. I sat up, rubbing my temples. I'd never seen mom that…fragile. I had the distinct feeling I had yet to hear the full story. _What could have happened to her to make her look like that? It's almost like someone died. _I came downstairs to find mom and Charlie sitting at the dining table. I compared her to the broken person I had seen in my dream. Mom had a few more lines in her face and a few gray hairs scattered among the brown, but something made her seem younger her eighteen-year-old self. Her eyes weren't panicked and desperate, but seemed happy, laughing and smiling when she did. All of this seemed rather odd considering that, in the present, she was almost thirty years older, her daughter had recently been threatened by a vampire, and her son had begun phasing into a werewolf. That brought only one logical conclusion. Whatever had happened to her when she was eighteen must have outweighed what was happening now.

I sat on the stairs, just out of view, until I heard Charlie head to the living room, presumably to watch some game. Normally, I would consider joining him, but I had more important things on my mind at the moment. I sped down the stairs and gestured frantically to mom to come upstairs. As soon as she followed me to her old room, I crossed to the loose floorboard. I pressed a couple of the pictures I'd saved into her hands. She frowned at the first one, the one with her and dad on the couch, but had a much stronger reaction to those remaining. The other pictures were those of her and Edward in high school. The pictures slipped through her fingers and her hands starting shaking. _Uh oh. Maybe I shouldn't have come off as strongly._

But she wasn't depressed. She was _angry_. Her fists were clenched at her sides, shaking, nails biting into her hands. I could hear a quiet string of curses run from her mouth, though nothing distinct. She finally managed to calm herself down enough to form a coherent sentence.

"Where did you find these?" she asked in a whispery hiss.

"Well I was working on my photo album when I tripped over a loose floorboard. I found all sorts of weird stuff in here," I said, opening the board and handing her the pictures and other items. Once everything was out of its hiding place and spread out in front of her, I closed the board again and sat in front of her, waiting for her to speak. We stared at each other for a long minute before I spoke.

"I know about the Cullens," I started, watching her for a reaction, "but I have the feeling something's missing. Something big." Mom sighed and sat on her old bed, patting the spot beside her. She gave a half smile when I sat down.

"Get comfortable. This might take a while," she said, "When I moved back to Forks to live with Charlie, I met Edward. Strange things started happening, things that made me decide he was anything but human."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he came out of nowhere and stopped a car with his hand." _Subtle_. "I found the truth about him and his family shortly after that. You obviously know that we were…dating for part of high school, although dating doesn't seem to be the right word for it. I was young and naïve, and I thought after only a few months that I'd found something that could last forever. Although he refused to change me, thinking he was protecting my soul by doing so, he gave every impression he felt the same way,"

"That spring, I was attacked by a nomad vampire and his mate," she gestured toward the prom picture, "The vampire was killed by the Cullens and I was able to enjoy a relatively uneventful summer; you know, uneventful considering my boyfriend was a vampire. I changed. I became desperate to have him change me; I was terrified of growing older. Needless to say, when my eighteenth birthday came, I was not in the mood to celebrate. But, the Cullens, Alice specifically, insisted I needed to have some sort of party." Her eyes glazed over as she presumably thought back to that day.

"Everything was fine, if slightly uncomfortable, until I cut myself on some wrapping paper. Jasper lost control and moved to attack me, but Edward pushed me out of the way, into a glass table. Everything became awkward for a few days. Then it all came to a head. Edward took me into the woods behind my house and told me him and his family was leaving…without me."

"When I insisted he was overreacting and I was coming with him, he told me he didn't want me anymore, that I wasn't good enough for him. He left and I fell apart completely. I don't mean the way normal people fall apart; I couldn't eat for a week afterward and became almost zombie-like in the following weeks and months. I even had hallucinations about him." I couldn't imagine mom ever being so weak. It was unfathomable to me that she had thrown any part of her life worth living away over some boy. She must have caught my reaction.

"I suppose this all seems silly to you doesn't it? Don't forget that I was only eighteen and I thought he was my soul mate, someone I would hopefully spend the rest of eternity with. Losing that, and hearing he didn't want me to boot, broke me emotionally."

"In January, I started seeing your father. He helped me put myself back together into something human again. We were best friends, and we became even closer after I found out his secret, but I could tell he wanted it to become something more. I wasn't ready yet. I couldn't let go of Edward, although truth be told, I wasn't trying very hard to let go. Meanwhile, the mate of the vampire the Cullens had killed was trying to find me for revenge. She figured if Edward killed her mate, her killing his would be getting even."

"Your father and the rest of the pack were forced to focus on killing the mate, Victoria. I felt more alone then, without my one comfort to talk to. Trying to induce a hallucination of Edward, I decided to go cliff diving. I stood on the edge of the cliff, reveling in the hallucinated sound of Edward's voice, getting ready to jump." She smiled slightly.

"But I never got the chance. I was in the middle of some exaggerated swan dive pose when your father pulled me back from the edge of the cliff. I started thinking about how reckless I had been acting the past few months. What would have happened if I had accidentally killed myself cliff diving? I wouldn't only be hurting myself, but everyone around me. I guess the whole incident knocked some sense into me. I finally was able to let go and just…live again."

"It wasn't long after that I finally realized I was in love with your father. I was genuinely happy for the first time since the Cullens left. The only flaw was Victoria, continuing to hunt me. Despite the best efforts of the pack, she eventually got to me, just after graduation. She took me from my room into the woods." She paused, obviously editing her story for me. I could gather what had happened from the picture of her and dad on Charlie's couch though.

"I woke up in the hospital. I found out Victoria was dead. It seemed as if my life had finally resolved itself in a way, until Carlisle walked in the room. It was the last thing I had expected to happen. Evidently, Alice had a vision of me being kidnapped by Victoria and the _whole_ family had come to Forks as fast as they could manage. They came too late to help destroy Victoria, but they were just in time to save my life the only way I would have considered anymore."

"I suppose the old me would have broken down again, but I didn't fall back into my depression," she smiled sarcastically, "I was furious. I did manage to accept the reasoning the rest of the Cullens gave, that Edward had made them leave in order for me to have a 'clean break'." _Wow, when's the last time she's used air quotes on something? Yikes._

"But I wasn't about to immediately forgive and forget with Edward, no matter how awful he professed to feel already. He told me he had left me 'for my own good'," More air quotes. "He told me he still loved me and had never stopped. I told him I didn't feel the same way anymore, using some of the exact words he had used long ago. Then I told him _exactly_ what I'd gone through during the past nine months. It felt darkly satisfying. Cathartic. The only thing that would have felt better at that point would be punching him, but frankly I had enough broken bones already."

"After I felt he understood what I had gone through, I was able to forgive him. He couldn't stay though. He left because he couldn't handle what I'd told him yet; he couldn't accept that I'd been able to move on when he hadn't. I felt some sympathy for him, I would have felt the same way in my depression had I found him with someone else, but I knew he'd brought this upon himself. The rest of the Cullens stayed this time, if only for a short period. I could tell Edward's pain hurt them too, and they didn't want him on his own completely for too long."

"I stayed in touch with Rosalie and Alice especially, but the family wasn't a permanent fixture in my life anymore. The next time I saw Edward, after seeing him at my wedding briefly, was twelve years ago, when you met the Cullens," she looked to the ceiling and paused, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

"Odd as it may seem, I believe if he hadn't left me on my birthday, I would be one of them now…in every sense of the word," she finished.


	11. Edward's Plan

So, my mom dated a vampire, my dad used to morph into a giant wolf, my brother _currently_ morphs into a giant wolf, and most of my best friends are vampires. It was a lot to take in for one week, to say the least. But I was generally okay. I was good with weird. Being a little odd myself helped with that a lot.

I could really care less that the majority of my friends and family were supernatural beings. I simply wanted things to return to normal. But the abnormalities weren't exactly caused by what my friends were. They were brought on by the past.

As long as I had known him, Edward had never seemed truly happy. The pain had seemed to lessen over time, until I found evidence of the past he had briefly shared with my mom. Now he was almost as zombielike as he had been at our first meeting. He had regressed. Now that I knew the cause of his depression, I had mixed feelings.

On one hand, I wished I had never reminded him of his obviously scarred past with those stupid pictures. That half of me wanted to try and distract him again, gently pulling him away from the past before he allowed it to consume him.

On the other hand, I was annoyed and confused by the root of his problems. From mom, I knew she and Edward had been seeing one another for only a few months when he left. I had found it somewhat ridiculous it had taken mom six months to recover from Edward leaving. But it was infinitely more confusing and frustrating that Edward was still hanging on to the memories of what they'd had after almost _thirty years_. That half of me wanted to smack him one (although it probably wouldn't hurt him much) and tell him to snap out of it.

Maybe I was being a little harsh. After all, what experience had I been through in that field? I'd barely dated, and the small experience I did have definitely did _not_ fall into the lofty and confusing territory of "soul mate". Going out to dinner and a movie a couple times a year didn't exactly make me an expert in dealing with this problem. That was probably why what my mom had told me just sounded downright stupid. Okay, maybe not stupid. Maybe it was just a little too sappy and hopelessly romantic for me. I was definitely not a romantic. I had no delusions that Prince Charming would ride up on a white steed and whisk me off to his palace to live happily ever after. I was a realist. That Disney princess crap just didn't happen in real life. Real life was gritty and difficult, and not always perfectly romantic and accompanied by saccharine musical numbers. Not to mention, hearing someone say they found their soul mate at seventeen was ridiculous. I'd heard far too much of that from other girls my age, saying they were going to be with so and so _forever_. Sorry, but in my reality, "forever" usually lasts about two weeks.

And with any break up I've seen, the general protocol is to act depressed for…maybe a week or so, and then _move on_. There was no nine month or _thirty year_ depression, no freezing your life until the other person deigns to take you back, and no obsessing over this person to the exclusion of practically everything else.

These rants ran through my head throughout the entire night after I heard my mom's side of the story. I just couldn't make sense of any of this. Let me rephrase my problems. So, my mom dated a vampire, my dad used to morph into a giant wolf, my brother _currently_ morphs into a giant wolf, most of my best friends are vampires, and the dilemma with my mom's vampire ex-boyfriend was giving me a freaking migraine.

I wasn't exactly sure which road to take. But while I was deciding, I tried to act as if nothing was wrong. I tried to make things as normal as they could be considering the situation I'd found myself in, but he wouldn't cooperate. He had never been particularly talkative while I had known him, but now he was almost completely silent. We still spent time together, but he was merely going through the motions. I sensed he needed the routine to take his mind off everything. Personally, it just gave me time to develop my ever-present headache further.

All this dull, uncommunicative routine built up the pressure inside me. I was impatient. After a few weeks of this, I'd had about enough. I felt like a cork on an unopened champagne bottle, ready to explode. All I could hear was the soft crunch of dead leaves and stone under our shoes and my breath as we ran. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

Pop.

"Oh for crying out loud Edward, _say something_!" I growled, stopping short on the trail. He looked at me blankly and my eyes narrowed with frustration. "Don't give me that crap! You've been completely silent ever since…" I searched for the appropriate word, "Bellagate!" I spat. That seemed to strike a nerve; he flinched, the most response I'd gotten out of him for weeks. "How you can obsess about one stupid mistake for the rest of your life is simply _beyond_ me. It's been almost _thirty_ _years_," I started.

"Twenty-eight years, seven months, two days…" he interrupted.

"What's wrong with you?" I snapped. _Honestly, who keeps track of something like that?_ I didn't wait for him to answer. "You know what, I'll _tell_ you. You've been obsessing over the same stupid mistake for decades now, and you're letting it eat away at you just as much now as you did then. What would you think if I was still moping about one of my spelling sheets not getting a sticker in kindergarten?"

"It's _not _the same!" he yelled. _Good. Even an angry reaction is helping…I think_. I resigned myself to a long, pent-up speech. "It was hard enough when I had to leave her at first. It was absolutely agony for months on end…and every second felt like an eternity. And then I come back to find out not only did my leaving fail to protect her, but it harmed her." He paused, taking a shuddering breath, out of habit I suppose. "But beyond even that pain, knowing that I'd caused her the same agony I'd forced myself to experience, was the pain of seeing her move on." He laughed humorlessly. "That's what I'd actually hoped for when I left, that she'd find some way to forget about me and live a normal, happy life. I thought that would be the best for her. My…condition put her into needless danger and robbed her of precious experiences, things she would never have been able to experience with me…intimacy…children…but even in the same beat I wished her to move on, I secretly, selfishly wished she would not be capable of doing so. When I saw she was capable of moving on…it broke me all over again. I had thought we were soul mates, bound together forever, no matter the physical distance separating us. But I was wrong." With that, he sank to the ground next to a tree and buried his face in his knees. This was going to be more difficult than I'd thought. I sat down next to him, slinging a comforting arm around his shoulders. "You say it's ridiculous to still feel the same way about someone after decades have passed, after they have so obviously moved on without you? Well, time hardly has meaning to me. When my kind changes, which happens only rarely, those changes are set in stone. They do not disappear or fade over time, but remain potent and central to our lives centuries later." I was at a loss. It seemed there was no convincing him. He simply refused to let go of my mom.

"Nothing is ever impossible. And you _have_ to stop looking at everything that has happened in the past years and automatically stamp it 'my fault'. Besides, you're a vampire, you're immortal…do you really want to be saddled with this type of pain forever?" I asked, hoping he'd see reason. He laughed darkly, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and goose bumps to spread over my skin, even on this hot day.

"I _don't_ plan on living with this forever." he stated simply. _Well, this sounds promising…and kind of suspicious_.

"What exactly do you mean?" I asked cautiously. He lifted his head from his knees and stared at me with a sad, resigned half smile.

"I wouldn't say a few more precious decades qualify as 'forever'," he said cryptically.

"Edward, what the heck are you talking about?" I asked, starting to get rather annoyed. He took another steadying breath.

"I don't plan on living with the pain forever simply because I don't plan on _living_ forever," _Wait, what? _"I never planned on outliving Bella." My brain stopped dead. I looked like a deer caught in the headlights as I stared at him in shock. He was planning on _killing himself_? As I tried to process this, he continued, "I plan on going to the funeral and paying my respects, then I'll go straight to Italy and force the Volturi to end my miserable existence." My shock finally passed as his words echoed through my mind. My face contorted with anger and I stood up quickly, staring him down. Oddly enough, he looked the most at peace he had been for years. It made me nervous seeing him so…calm. No one should be calm about their own death, especially if they were planning it.

"And just how does this solve anything?" I asked menacingly.

"Allison, I don't care if she doesn't love me that way anymore. I _cannot_ live without her."

"But…what about your family? Did you ever stop to consider how this might hurt them? What about me, Edward? You're my best friend…how do you think that would make me feel?" I ranted. He just stared at me, pain in his eyes again. He had obviously thought of this before. There was no reasoning with him. "What am I supposed to do now, Edward? You've just told me you plan on killing yourself. Do you really expect me to just smile and wave and go home like nothing's happened? Do you expect me to accept this? Well I can't!"

"Why not?"

"I just _can't_!" I growled illogically. There was probably a more eloquent response tucked away in some deep recess of my brain, but I was really in no state to search for it. I vaguely realized I sounded childish and irrational, but the fact was, I was barely past childhood and had just been asked to shoulder a huge burden. None of my experience could have ever prepared me for something like this. I didn't know what to say. I had no idea how to convince the crazy man twenty stories up on the outside of a skyscraper not to jump. I took a deep breath, trying to clear my thoroughly confused mind, and said the first thing that came to me.

"I won't let you," I said calmly, matching his tone. To my surprise, he laughed, almost genuinely.

"As if you could outrun me! As if you could fight me! What do you expect to do? There is absolutely nothing you can do, Allison. I know you have good intentions, but you know which road they pave," he said. I started walking away from him. I was tired of hearing this. I turned back for one moment before I began running back home.

"I won't let you," I repeated grimly.

As soon as I got to Charlie's, I ran upstairs and dialed home on my cell phone. Mom picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Mom, it's Allison," I said.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Absolutely not!" I answered immediately.

"What's wrong?" she asked urgently. I paused for a beat and tried to find the best way to summarize what I'd just heard.

"Mom, do me a favor and don't die today, alright?"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"It's…kind of hard to explain," _Yeah, that was definitely an understatement_. I heard her pause on the line and could almost see her gesturing with her hand to make me spit it out. I sighed. "Listen…I kind of want to talk about it in person. I know it's late tonight, and it can wait one night, so…maybe I'll come over tomorrow?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to come over right now?"

"Honestly, I can't risk the car crash right now. I'll explain everything tomorrow."

"Okay…come over around dinner time, alright?"

"Okay. I love you, mom."

"I love you too."

I hung up the phone and spread myself on the bed with my arm over my eyes. What was I going to do? As much as I hated to admit it, Edward was right. When he was actually trying, there was no way I could outrun him or keep him from hurting himself. His words kept echoing through my head. _I never planned on outliving Bella. As if you could outrun me! As if you could fight me!_ Something gnawed on the edge of my consciousness as I thought about these words. Then it occurred to me…a possible solution. _Oh crap_. I dove for my phone and dialed Alice.

"Allison?"

"Alice, get away from Edward as fast as you can!"


	12. Allison's Plan

I vaguely heard the click on the line as Alice hung up. I was starting to panic a little. This was the only way I could prevent Edward's eventual suicide and if he'd been in the same room right before I'd called…_Calm down_. _What's the worst that could've happened_?

How did Alice's visions work, anyway? Supposedly they were based on decisions…and I'd made mine almost as soon as the idea came into my mind. So, alright, she's probably seen what I was thinking about. The main question was whether _Edward _had any idea.

_You know what? So what if he saw everything? I haven't planned out the concrete details; maybe he'll think it was just an idea, that I've already rejected it as ridiculous or impossible._ Sorry, inner monologue, but it's just not like him to ignore a risk out of hand…for crying out loud, look what a freaking _paper cut_ made him do! If he had any idea, he would take every measure possible to stop me.

Which would be rather annoying.

The little voice in my head was right about one thing, though. It probably wasn't the end of the world, or even of my plan if he'd seen Alice's vision. I would just have to take more drastic measures if that was the case. Besides, he wouldn't be able to tell _exactly _what I'd been thinking. I smirked to myself. I was one of two people he'd ever met whose mind he couldn't read. I suppose I should thank mom when this all blows over.

_Correction, _if_ this all blows over_.

Shut up monologue.

My phone rang shrilly, breaking my concentration. _Alice!_ I uncharacteristically fumbled for the phone, finally managing to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Allison, what was that?"

"Um…you're away from the house now, right?"

"Yes…"

"Could you come over here? I don't really want to talk about this over the phone." _Wow, now I'm in a James Bond movie. Okay, Austin Powers is probably a little more my speed._

"Hello? Earth to Allison?"

"Sorry." I could almost see her rolling her eyes.

"Alright, I'm coming up." I heard the subtle purr of her car as it came to a stop down the street from Charlie's house. She was suddenly standing in the yard, gesturing at something impatiently…the window? I opened it and jumped about half a mile when I saw she was suddenly standing in the middle of the room. _Vampire, remember?_ I swear, these people were going to give me a heart attack.

I recovered as quickly as I could. "What did he see?" I asked urgently.

"As far as I know, nothing," she said. I breathed a sigh of relief. "He was out hunting…what's going on? I haven't seen anything like that for years. The last time I saw it was…" she trailed off, her eyes glazing over. This wasn't the look I'd come to expect as accompaniment to her visions, though. She was reminiscing. "I thought it was the same vision at first, the one I used to have of Bella that would drive Edward nuts."

"So you saw it?" I asked stupidly. Alice sighed in exasperation. Okay, it was definitely time for me to shut up now.

"Of _course_ I saw it! How am I supposed to ignore something like this? You're trying to become a vampire!" Oddly enough, as she was beginning to lose her composure, I was regaining mine. I felt calmer and more focused than I had since I'd called her. She continued her mini-rant, "And the part I don't understand is _why_! I mean, you've known what we were for weeks now, and this hasn't crossed your mind until this point?"

"Oh, and I suppose you've never seen his plans, then?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't know?"

"Spit it out already."

"Edward's planning on killing himself as soon as my mom dies." Evidently, she'd known. I got the impression she wasn't surprised by his plans, but by my knowledge of them.

"He told you?" she asked in a slightly more subdued tone. I raised an eyebrow incredulously. It seemed the roles had been reversed.

"He told me earlier. Apparently he'll go to the funeral then go off himself as soon as everything's over. Now, I'm not about to let that happen, but there's not exactly much I can do about it as is. All he'd have to do is shoot off into the woods and I'd never see him again. Now, obviously it'll be a little easier to stop him if I can _keep up with him_." Alice was silent for a moment after that.

"You can't do it," she said flatly.

"Why not, mom?" I asked sarcastically. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm just trying to look out for you, Allison. Have you even stopped to consider the consequences of what you're planning? Have you given any thought to the risk you're taking?"

"Well I'm sure I won't be able to eat as much pizza…"

"Come on, be serious," she held up a finger, "most importantly, have you considered that you're technically half-werewolf?"

"I haven't phased…"

"We don't know if that really matters or not. Vampire venom is _lethal_ for werewolves. You might not even be physically _capable_ of transforming, Allison. Beyond that, we have a treaty with the werewolves; if we bite a human, not kill, only bite, the treaty is broken and outright war would break out between my family and yours. Not to mention you need a _willing_ vampire to bite you before you can be transformed."

I sulked at her words. Of course I hadn't thought about this actually _killing_ me…although I thought my family line didn't have anything to do with the reaction of venom in my blood. And I didn't necessarily need anyone to be _convinced_ to transform me. The rest of the Cullens had been on the brink of death when they were transformed, right? Alice groaned.

"Don't even _think _about it," she hissed, her eyes going pitch black.

"It's just a little motorcycle crash…or maybe I could jump off the cliffs…"

"Oh, so killing _yourself_ is the solution now, is it? I swear, you are the dumbest smart person I know sometimes!" It was actually somewhat entertaining as well as scary to see Alice angry. She had the most innocent face in the world, but she looked like she might kill you with a look. The contrast made me smile. "Beyond that, do you really think we've been ignoring this problem all these years? We'd hoped it would help to give him some time, let him recover from Bella, even if it would take a while."

"A _while_? As far as I can tell he was out of commission most of the past twenty some odd years! The only time I saw any improvement was when I was trying to _distract_ him!"

"Oh, I'm sure parading everything he never could have had with your mother is really helping!"

"So letting him stay a zombie for decades is your idea of a solution?"

"There was at least the remote _possibility_ of him recovering after a while!" I realized our voices had been rising since Alice had arrived; now we were practically shouting at each other. So it came as no surprise when I heard the squeaky floorboard in the hallway creak. Alice and I froze for a beat, then Alice flashed into the closet. Doing some quick thinking, I picked up my phone and held it to my ear, keeping my face carefully frozen in a look that could kill. That part, incidentally, wasn't all that difficult. As Charlie opened the door, I quickly made a motion to hang up the phone. He blinked blearily in the light of the bedroom.

"What's going on? I thought I heard yelling," he said.

I made a probably over dramatized effort to compose myself. "I was talking to…Mason," I started, pulling a random friend's name out of the air, "we got into a bit of a fight," I tried my best to look chagrined, "sorry to wake you up, Grandpa. I'll probably just go to bed now." I was amazed how easily that lie slid off my tongue. It wasn't exactly easy to lie to Charlie. It was like he had a sixth sense. He could usually sniff out a lie within half a second. It was one of the setbacks of having an ex-cop for a grandpa.

But, believe it or not, he actually bought it. "Alright then, good night, Allison," he said, flicking the lights off as he left. I waited a few minutes before daring to continue again. I figured it was safe when I heard snoring.

"Define 'a while', Alice!" I hissed, "He's been like this with absolutely no sign of a change for decades!"

She sighed in annoyance from her place in the closet. Alice was back on the bed in a flash. "We have a different concept of time than humans. Everyday is at once longer and shorter than you could ever comprehend. To us, it feels as if only a week has gone by in all these years."

"So when are you going to give it up for a lost cause? Time is running out, Alice. I hate to be blunt, but mom isn't exactly getting any younger. That's not even considering that she could, I don't know, trip on the front stoop and give herself an aneurism or something, which you know is a distinct possibility! You just asked me a minute ago whether I'd thought about the consequences of becoming one of you, but think of the consequences of leaving him to his own devices! Have you considered that it may take more than a mortal lifetime for him to recover? What was it you said I was doing? I seem to remember something about me 'parading what he couldn't have in front of him'. But it's not like that, not remotely! He needs a _distraction_…at least I'm doing something to actively help him, not just letting him sit in shark-infested waters and waiting to see if he'll sink or swim!"

There was a long silence. I could tell Alice was trying to find a way to counter what I was saying. But it was impossible. It was ludicrous to believe that one day Edward would magically heal himself. I thought I could sort of understand the method to his madness. He'd been alone for almost a century before he'd found my mom. Then, when he met her, he thought he'd found his soul mate. He thought they'd spend at least the rest of her lifetime together, if not eternity. And then one little slip completely ruined the chances of this ever happening, a mistake that had been entirely preventable, an overreaction. He was beating himself up over what could have been. I still thought it ridiculous that he could still be so affected by events that happened almost thirty years ago, but at least I felt I had a rough grasp of the problem…although it seemed it was much more complicated than I could imagine. I waited a few more minutes for Alice to respond. When there was no answer, I continued.

"Look, the only way I can have any hope of stopping him is to somehow become a vampire."

She snorted a little. "Seriously? Have you listened to a word I've said tonight? Even if you were to succeed, which, I hate to tell you, is pretty much impossible, you would only start an all-out war between my family and the wolves. You would force us to leave, and you would be forcing yourself to abandon your family and friends. For all you know, you might grow to resent us for that very reason. You don't need to play the martyr here, Allison…"

"I'm _not_ playing the martyr," I said flatly. Alice merely paused for a half a second and raised an eyebrow before continuing.

"Of course you're playing the martyr; it's in your blood. The problem is there's absolutely no reason for you to do this. Do you really think we would allow him to destroy himself?" _And here I thought they had decided to leave him to his own devices. It's so reassuring to see they won't intervene until he comes to his breaking point._

"The way I see it, he's been destroying himself for years and you haven't been doing a single thing to prevent it," I retorted.

"See what I mean? Whenever you decide to stop playing the martyr, you're his psychiatrist! I'm sure an eighteen-year-old such as yourself has a lot of training on how to deal with grief, depression, and suicidal impulses!" she hissed at me. We had an unofficial staring contest for a few seconds after that. I was actually surprised when she blinked first. Did she even need to blink? Her expression changed in a nanosecond. One moment she was furious and frustrated, staring me down and willing me to bend toward her opinion. The next, she seemed calm and composed. She even smiled at me genuinely.

"No offense, but your opinion or plans don't really matter in the long run. If you make any move to hurt yourself to force our hands, I'll see it. So, really, plan what you want, but I'll be here to stop you before you can do anything."

"We'll see about that," I challenged. She laughed, muffling the sound in her palm.

"I'm sure I will," she said, still laughing a little. I swear, Alice was the most annoying person, mortal or otherwise, I'd ever met. She seemed to be enjoying my annoyance. I was instantly reminded of my brother and felt a little pang. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed him. _I wonder how he's doing…_

Alice broke my concentration yet again.

"I'm not going to tell Edward," she said as she got up and walked toward the window. I stared at her suspiciously. _What?_

"And why wouldn't you do that?" I asked. She shrugged cryptically as she started to open the window.

"Simple. It's not going to happen. He doesn't need to know. No reason to make him worry about your soul on top of everything else." With that, she gracefully dropped out of the window and disappeared into the night, leaving me more confused than I'd started out.

Not two seconds later, my phone started vibrating. I looked at the name. Mom.


	13. Little White Lie

"Hello?" _Please say she isn't driving_. It would be relatively obvious if she was. She _still_ had her truck from high school. It was ancient way back _then_; how on earth was it still running? Fortunately I couldn't hear the un-muffled roar of her fossilized Ford. That was one bullet dodged, anyway.

"Alright, Allison. Spit it out. What's going on?"

"Mom, we can talk about this tomorrow…"

"I don't think so. I'm coming over." My heart leapt into my throat, beating out a staccato rhythm. _Terrific! Just as I figure something out for a change, the irony fairy comes and smacks me in the face. I can't exactly stop him if something happens _tonight_ for crying out loud_.

"No, mom! Don't get in the car!" I heard a frustrated sigh on the other end of the line.

"I'm already _in_ the car…calm down. What's going on with you today?" _You've got to be kidding me! She took the freaking Rabbit? _ The words spilled out, tripping over each other in their rush to be heard.

"Stop the car! Turn around! Why would you take the _Rabbit_…"

"See what I mean? I'm not going back until I figure out exactly what's going on. Besides, I'm already halfway there," she paused, "Does this have any relation to you telling me not to die today?" I could detect a note of humor in her voice, mostly covered by a tone that told me, in short, she thought I was absolutely insane.

"_Yes!_" I hissed into the phone, "Exactly!" She sighed again; I could imagine her shaking her head incredulously at my lack of general logic. Well, she didn't know what I did. If she did, she would be acting just as insane as I was.

Wouldn't she?

I was beginning to think I was the last to know about absolutely _everything_ around here. I would have thought my parents would find it polite to, you know, _mention_ that the people their daughter spent most of their time with were decades' and centuries' old vampires. And what about the little trivial fact that I happened to be descended from a long line of werewolves? And how was it that presumably the entire Cullen family knew about Edward's suicidal plans and weren't doing a damn thing about it?

"Okay. I'll play along, I guess. Would it make you feel better if I hung up?" _Uh, not really._

"I guess," I said, accepting the small compromise. Mom was stubborn. Once she had her mind made up about something, convincing her to stop was like running full tilt into a brick wall.

"I'll see you in a few minutes, love you."

"Love you too." I listened to the dial tone for a few moments before hanging up. So, assuming she actually survived the demons of irony and actually _arrived_, what the heck was I going to tell her? My first instinct was to just blow the whole thing off as some sort of typical teenage meltdown…or maybe use every woman's standby as an excuse for my abnormally panicky, emotional self. But she was definitely too smart to buy that. Not to mention she had some sort of sixth sense for when me or Connor lied. I swear, having children must equip parents with internal radar for that sort of thing. Sometimes it was convenient, but right now it was making my life more difficult than it needed to be.

So I needed to at least tell her that my best friend was planning to kill himself eventually. _It's no big deal, really. I mean, I would _love_ to hear from my daughter that my ex-boyfriend was planning on killing himself as soon as I check out._

This was not going to be easy, was it?

I made my way downstairs as quietly as possible, making sure to skip the now familiar creaks in the hallway. I sat on the front stoop and resigned myself to an unpleasant night. Too soon for my taste, I saw headlights shining down the street. The car parked in the driveway and mom stepped out. _Well, she made it this far at least. Take that pessimism!_ She came toward me, managing to characteristically stumble on some minute crack in the pavement. She plopped herself down next to me with a casual air.

"Alright," she started, "spill." I sighed and said nothing, still trying to ascertain what actually _needed_ to be said. Mom rolled her eyes subtly and opened her mouth.

"I'm not ignoring you, I'm just trying to...well, organize my thoughts, I guess," I said. She half-smiled and gestured for me to proceed. Then she started to make herself comfortable, nudging off her shoes and leaning back on her hands. _Okay, so now back to the question at hand._

Should I tell her I'm going to be a vampire? She told me herself she had planned on becoming one of them. _Yeah, when she was eighteen. And remember the tone? It was a sort of "yes, I wanted to do that back then, but I was young and stupid, and really didn't know anything" face. You've heard that before. You know what it means. You can't use that excuse to get her to support your plans._ If that wasn't enough, there was always dad to worry about.

There was absolutely _no way_ he would ever be able to accept me becoming a vampire. He _hated _them. His purpose for seven years of his life had been solely to protect his friends and family from them. And this wasn't one of those things I could keep just between me and mom. Something this important would definitely end up getting relayed back to dad. That was the way it always worked. If I told one parent, they were almost guaranteed to tell the other, even if I specifically told them not to.

So it looked like that, at least, would have to stay between me and Alice. _Probably Jasper too if I'm going to be realistic_.

Okay, so basically tell her that her ex is suicidal because of her and not that I'm planning on turning into an immortal blood-sucking vampire to stop him. Got it. I turned toward her and let the words come.

"So, it's about Edward," I started. She nodded vaguely, her eyes tightening almost imperceptibly. "We were talking earlier…I guess arguing would be a better term…he's been silent for _weeks_ for crying out loud!" I was getting distracted. _Calm down. Deep breaths._

"Anyway, so I was just starting to tell him to snap out of it already, he's basically going to live forever, so what's the point of carrying this with him?" Mom nodded. I knew she wanted the same for him. "So then he starts going on about how he's not _planning_ on living that long." I gave that a moment to sink in. Mom's reaction was a little disappointing. Instead of the shock and disbelief I would have expected, there was only resignation, maybe a hint of what I liked to call the "nostalgia look". That's what I called the look all adults got at one time or another when they were reminiscing about something. I crossed my arms.

"You knew," I said flatly. She bit her lip slightly and shook her head.

"Not exactly," she started, "He…mentioned the idea before, but I had no idea he was still planning on going through with it!" I stared her down. I wasn't going to drop this until I had a real answer for a change.

"Your turn," I said.

"Do you remember what I told you about being attacked by a vampire while Edward and I were together?" I nodded. "Well, he wasn't entirely sure he would be able to get to me in time. He almost didn't. By the time the vampire was destroyed, I'd been bitten." She fingered the silvery scar on her hand habitually.

"You…bitten? Wait…what? How?" I spluttered eloquently.

"He managed to suck the venom out, you know, like you would with a rattlesnake or something. But that's not the point I was making. He told me later that he had planned on going to the Volturi if I had been killed."

"Volturi?"

"They're evidently a sort of royalty for vampires. It's the closest thing they have to government; albeit one with very few rules. Basically don't get caught. Other than that, they could really care less. He thought he could convince them to destroy him." She got the nostalgia look again and shook her head, smiling ruefully. "We were watching _Romeo and Juliet_ of all things and he said he envied Romeo because he was human and had an easy suicide." _Wow, he's even more messed up than I imagined._ "Evidently it's very difficult to kill yourself when you're immortal."

I heard what she was saying, but I wasn't really listening. I was too focused on the fact that she'd been _bitten_ and she was still human. So even if, by some miracle, I convinced one of the Cullens to bite me, Edward would just come in and stop the transformation. This definitely complicated matters. Luckily, the last few minutes (where I had been blissfully zoned out) were mostly filled with mom's predictable pity party from the sounds of it. Seriously, would she ever accept that _everything_ that happens isn't inherently her fault? I could almost see how she and Edward got along way back when. _Oops. She must've stopped. She's staring at me. I should probably nod._

I nodded.

She sighed, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me closer to her. Normally I would have protested, not really being the type of person who likes to be touched, but with everything that had been going on, I felt I needed it. She must have known that. _Okay, so sometimes parental superpowers come in handy._

"So," she said after a few minutes, "what're you going to do about it?" _Then again…maybe _some_ people should leave the mind-reading to the vampires!_ I shrugged unconvincingly.

"What am I supposed to do? All I can really try is to show him how stupid he's being…which might take a while. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure where to begin," I lied. It wasn't perfect, but the waver in my voice could be mistaken for my being upset. I could try and emphasize that a little more, but I needed to be believable, or this would never work. Mom would know something was up if I started acting like a whiny little drama queen about everything. I was better than that.

I was stronger than that.

Mom looked slightly skeptical. "So, you're just going to talk to him? That's it?" I nodded, not trusting my voice. "I'm not sure I buy that, Allison. Even when you were a little girl you always had something drastic in mind. You don't seem to be the type who would 'just talk' to anyone. I might believe you more if you said you were going to punch him in the face or something." She started laughing and I couldn't help joining in. When we had finally stopped, her voice turned serious again.

"I wouldn't recommend that by the way," she said, "You'll only end up breaking something. I seriously doubt you'd do a thing to him."

"Personal experience?" I ventured.

"Nope, just common sense. Newton's third law and all that…" She paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. "Allison, if you do decide to do something other than just talking to him, or punching him, you'll tell me, right?"

"Right," I said, making sure not to answer too quickly. It was really difficult to lie to her then. She looked vulnerable, unsure of what to do with me. It was obvious she thought I _would_ come up with a different plan of action, but there was also a hint she already knew I was planning something. She waited a few moments before getting up to leave, probably hoping I would admit I had something else up my sleeve. She didn't want to be caught off guard.

The sound of gravel crunching was all that accompanied our walk to the car. It was so similar to the awkward sound of silence in the woods with Edward; I came very close to cracking and confessing everything. But just when I thought I could take no more, we were standing next to the Rabbit and mom had enveloped me in another hug.

"Please tell me if you think of something, Allison," she said, "You know I'll be there for you, no matter what happens."

"I know," I mumbled, feeling absolutely wretched. We pulled apart and she got into the car. "I love you," I said.

"Love you too." With that, the car backed out of the driveway and disappeared into the night. I crept back upstairs, locking the front door behind me. I flopped onto the bed, wondering if I'd made the right decision. All these lies were beginning to make me feel like a different person, a worse one. I remembered being told about how little white lies were okay when I was younger. But that was just it. This wasn't exactly a _little_ white lie. This lie could, _would_, change my life and those of my family and closest friends permanently. It was more like a great white lie, Jaws.

And Jaws was currently taking residence somewhere in the region of my stomach, complete with pointy fins, sharp teeth, and theme music.

Tomorrow I would have to talk to Edward at least, maybe try talking to him. _And that's _guaranteed_ to work_. Well, if I didn't try something tomorrow, there was always the risk of Alice changing her mind about keeping my secret to herself, or mom figuring everything out, or worse, _Edward_ figuring everything out.

My life all hinged on a few minutes, hours at most, due to take place tomorrow.

Yeah, the Jaws theme was definitely fitting.


	14. Too Far to Turn Around

I must've finally fallen asleep. One moment I was trying to plan for tomorrow, changing my mind so many times I must have driven Alice crazy. Then I blinked and there was suddenly daylight, or what passes for daylight in Forks anyway, shining through the window. I glanced at the clock; it was still early. I pulled on my running clothes and forced my hair into a thick ponytail. _Okay, Alice. I'm pretty sure you're listening. Yes, I'm coming to the house, but I'm only going to talk, alright?_ Would that even work? _It doesn't really matter. Just act casual_.

I jogged up to the Cullens', taking my sweet time getting there. For some reason, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It was almost the feeling you got when you were being watched. I glanced over my shoulder. I didn't see anything in the trees lining the street, but that didn't mean anything. I could certainly imagine a tiny black-haired figure flitting silently from tree to tree, making sure I didn't do anything stupid. I jogged backward a few steps and waved at the trees, grinning sarcastically.

But, oddly enough, I didn't think Alice was causing the instinctive feeling rising in me. It could just be nerves, although I kind of doubted it. I was hardly nervous about anything. Besides, it seemed like Jaws had finally shut up since last night. He was probably still there, waiting to strike, but he was harmlessly swimming around rather than conducting an ominous orchestra in my stomach. No, the feeling ran more deeply than mere fear or nerves; I couldn't quite identify it and it bothered me.

I finally arrived at the beginning of the long drive leading to the Cullens'. There was no way they could reasonably ignore me now. I broke into my usual loping run, the ground racing away beneath my feet. I reached the front door, my breathing only slightly labored. I let myself in; when you're almost indestructible, what's the point of locking the door?

I saw Edward sitting at the piano in the corner. He wasn't playing it, just staring at it for some reason. Oh, great. The nostalgia look. Okay, so I didn't have anything against people remembering the past, but with Edward, it _always_ meant another relapse into his zombie-like depression. I stalked up behind him, although I was sure he knew I was there. Just to annoy him, I tapped some of the lower pitched keys on the piano, alternating them in a rough approximation of the Jaws theme. Not surprisingly, this didn't yield a reaction.

I sat on the piano keys with a loud bang and stared at him. _Hello? Um, a reaction would be nice. Come on, you know I'm being obnoxious. _I mimicked the expression on his face, freezing my features as best I could, and then continued the unofficial staring contest. It was, of course, ridiculous to seriously attempt a staring contest with a vampire. _Wait, does he even need to blink?_ Finally, I had to blink before my eyes dried out completely. I leaned back on the piano.

"You know, it's kind of difficult to talk you out of killing yourself when you don't _talk_," I said matter-of-factly. I could swear I saw a smile ghost across his face, but it was so fast, it could have been a trick of the light. "I'm not entirely sure you're even blinking," I continued. I knew he could hear me. Okay, maybe I didn't. "So, anyway, if you're going to refuse to talk, I might as well start things off by saying you're a complete idiot." His face remained motionless. "I swear, you are the most melodramatic person in the world. Just because the person you love, and that _you_ dumped may I remind you, chose someone else, you're going to kill yourself as soon as she dies? What would you do if I started saying things like that?" I tried to imitate his voice, "Oh no, I broke up with Bob. Now Bob's taking Jane to the prom! I'm _so _depressed! I think I'm going to go jump off a cliff as soon as prom's over! I went out with him for a whole summer! I knew we were _destined_ to be together, but I broke up with him because I thought it was dangerous for him to go out with someone with black hair! And now he's moved on? Oh, Bob, how could you? Don't you know that we were supposed to be together _forever_…?"

"Enough, Allison!" he hissed, sounding much more vampire-like than was normal. He had finally abandoned the piano seat and was standing at his full height, glaring down at me. "You don't know anything about this! You're only a teenager!"

"So are you," I said coolly, hopping casually down from the piano. His eyes narrowed dangerously. I responded with a predatory grin of my own. It was probably not nearly as intimidating as I wanted it to be, but I needed to show him that I wouldn't back down from this. He finally turned away and stared into space again. I smirked, a small celebration for a small victory.

"You think that just because you've lived for over a century that you know everything. But I'll let you in on something, Edward. You don't know much more than me. No matter how long you live…you're still seventeen. You want to know how I know that? Mom was the same way right after, I'm going to have to emphasize this again, _you _left _her_. But she did something you never could. She moved on. She _matured_. She learned that it wasn't worth it letting your life pass her by for the sake of someone who _wasn't coming back_." His face contorted slightly. "You could learn a thing or two from her," I said, letting a small note of condescension creep into my voice. It made me sound like an elementary teacher. "Let me put this clearly," I cleared my throat. "She's. Not. Coming. Back." I let each word drag out before letting the next one slip. "And with the choice she's made, she, like all the rest of the human population, is going to die someday. So you might as well stop moping around and _move on_." I folded my arms triumphantly. He sighed. I was hoping it was in defeat. Maybe he had finally managed to see reason.

"You're right," he started. I mentally did a fist pump, perhaps a little prematurely. "I've always known it would come to this. Bella is mortal," he paused. "Allison, I made this decision years ago. If Bella should remain mortal, which I wished regardless of whom she chose in the end, I would die when she did." _You have got to be kidding me!_ A string of heartfelt curses rustled around in my head as the world went forward in slow motion. I could see Edward continuing to talk, but the words were indistinct, his eyes closed in a way that looked almost painful. My every nerve was on the alert as I embraced my first instinct.

I balled my right hand into a fist, hauling back with all my strength. I knew there was no way I could hurt him this way, but it could possibly show him the insanity he was spouting. But I knew in my heart that would never work. He was certifiably insane in my book. And every attempt at reason had failed utterly.

As I brought my fist closer to his face, I took advantage of the opportunity, almost subconsciously. My hand changed course; now it directed away from his nose and closed eyes and toward his mouth. Adrenaline ran through my veins, slowing the image in front of me further. Every precious millimeter seemed to take hours to fall away. I angled my fist at the last minute, ripping across his teeth. Even that seemed to happen in slow motion, crimson droplets of blood, my blood, flying from my hand. I pulled my hand away, seeing several things at once. I saw the slight glint of silver hidden in the vermilion blood flowing from me. Edward's expression changed from eerily calm and collected to panic. I saw resolution in his eyes and, yet again, the nostalgia look. I knew immediately what he was thinking.

Decades ago, he had managed to prevent my mother from becoming a vampire by sucking the venom out of the wound. He thought he could do it again. He thought wrong.

Simultaneously, I brought my wounded hand to my mouth and bit the inside of my cheek, hard. I sucked the venom from the wound myself, holding it in my mouth. The metallic taste of it coated my tongue. I slowly drew my tongue across the open wound in my mouth. I smiled in that same almost predatory way. I could imagine how I looked. My hand was sliced open by my side, twitching slightly with shock and my own blood dripped from my teeth.

I almost looked like one of them already.

Suddenly, time resumed its normal course. I felt everything at once. White hot pain exploded in my hand and mouth. The smile melted off my face as shock overcame me. Fire. I was burning alive already. I had conveniently forgotten in all my plans that becoming a vampire was excruciatingly painful, and the process took _days_. I tried to grit my teeth against the pain, but it was useless. A moan escaped my hold as I collapsed. My head hit something hard, the piano perhaps, and I lost consciousness.

I probably would have stayed unconscious for hours normally, but the pain was impossible to ignore. As I blinked painfully awake, I vaguely realized I'd been moved. I was lying down somewhere now. It was hard to concentrate on any one thing. The fire in my throat was choking me; it even made it impossible for me to scream.

I opened my eyes; my vision was clouded with a red haze. I could vaguely make out a couple of figures in the room, but couldn't distinguish what they were saying. It was almost like a replay of my argument with Edward. Except this time, I could feel the venom spreading through my body. I missed the old memory.

I tried to concentrate on the people in the room; it helped infinitesimally to be distracted. Although I still couldn't see anything specific, I could make out the tone of the conversation in the background. The figures, whoever they were, seemed to be arguing. Standing next to me was another figure. It spoke too.

The blurring of sound and sight was almost like being underwater. My lungs screaming in the background added to that effect nicely. I remembered a demonstration in one of my chemistry classes out of nowhere. The teacher had superheated water vapor until it was warm enough to burn a sheet of paper held in front of the jet. The comparison seemed apt. The transformation felt almost like being drowned slowly in water, water heated to the point where it could easily singe your skin.

_Why won't anyone say anything about the damn time?_ Here I was, burning and drowning at once, and they didn't even have the decency to say how much longer I would be like this? Positives. I needed to think of the positives here. Why was I doing this in the first place?

I couldn't remember.

All I could remember was the action that had led me here to my pyre. I had punched…someone. _Wait, who did I punch? _I was drawing a blank. I knew this was important, but right now I could barely remember anything about…anything. I knew my name. I knew I was becoming a vampire…slowly. That was about it. _Calm down. It should all come back eventually. _

The voices around me stopped. It was replaced with a brooding silence. There was no distraction anymore. I was stuck with my thoughts and my self-inflicted agony.

An eternity later, I heard footsteps thundering up the stairs. The footsteps were interrupted by a loud bang. I listened, straining my ears to pick up what they may be saying. One of the figures already in the room shifted, mumbling something. Miraculously, I was actually able to discern some of what they were saying.

"Of all the times…start bleeding…could get hurt…" someone said. The trilling voice was somewhat familiar. A couple minutes later a new voice joined in. This one came through clearly.

"What have you done to her?" it said, a deep voice laced with both the threat of violence and a protective instinct. I knew this voice instinctively. I just needed to be reminded. _Dad_. I felt a slight pressure on my uninjured hand. I looked over and saw my hand clasped in another, smaller, one. The hand squeezed mine lightly, giving no relief from the pain, but providing me with a new distraction and a new flood of memories. _Mom_.

"Bella…do that…dangerous…get hurt…" another voice said.

"I'm pretty sure I can, actually. You see, in case you've forgotten, she's _my_ daughter, and I'm not moving an inch until all this is over." Mom's voice was different. Usually so calming and soft, it now had a hard edge to it. I felt a pang as I remembered my promise to tell her if I changed my plan. _It had to be a split second decision. Otherwise Alice would have seen and all this would have been impossible. You would be stuck human and Edward would die soon after her._ Even to my pain-addled brain, the reasons I came up with sounded like weak rationalization.

I was able to grasp that I would never be able to understand what she was going through right now. I would never have to live through the pain of my children betraying me or laying in impossible pain with me helpless to numb it. I would never _have_ children. The thought distracted me for a minute, but then I was borne away by a fresh wave of pain.

The hours melted away slowly. I tried my best to hold any reaction inside. After all, I had brought all this on myself. There was no reason the rest of the household needed to suffer.

As time passed, I remembered the faces and names of my family and friends. Connor was my occasionally obnoxious younger brother. Alice was one of my friends, gifted with the ability to see the future. I debated whether I was lucky or unlucky to have evaded her sight on this occasion. Edward was my best friend despite being constantly depressed; he was the reason I was turning, indirectly at least.

While I regained my memory, I also gained new strength of body and mind. I was sure I would have felt the tightening of sinew and muscle had I not been burned to a crisp. I was hyperaware of all the sounds around me now. I could hear the voices around me clearly, although they did not speak often. Most of the conversation involved courtesies when Esme brought food in for my parents, who had refused to leave the room until the transformation was complete. Although I appreciated the grip mom had on my left hand and the soothing patterns dad made on my right, I finally realized how dangerous this situation was for them. As soon as the transformation was complete, I would be an uncontrollable, blood-craving newborn.

After a particularly nasty wave, I heard a sickening crunch to my left accompanied by a hiss through gritted teeth.

"Bella, let me see your hand," Carlisle said with concern. Instead of withdrawing her hand from mine, she gripped it harder. Her teeth ground together sickeningly, betraying her pain. With huge effort, I managed to unclench my left fist, stretching the fingertips as far open as they would go. I felt I needed to protect her from herself.

There was a little more argument before she finally allowed Carlisle to fix her hand. I noticed I could now distinguish the smell of the cast. But more importantly, I could feel some of the burn receding to my heart and throat, not lessening, but concentrating in those parts. The most intense burn was in my heart, whose beat was accelerating at an alarming rate. But I was more concerned for the growing burn in my throat.

Bloodlust.

I was getting thirsty; and both my parents were still in the room. I could distinguish between their scents too. Dad smelled…almost unpleasant. I supposed that was a sign of his werewolf heritage. Mom on the other hand, smelled _good._

She smelled like food, and that was infinitely disturbing. I tried to force a warning out of my mouth, but no sound came out. My throat was still constricted by white hot flames. I would have to depend on the others to warn them before I regained control over my body. Almost as if he were responding to my thought, Carlisle spoke.

"It won't be long now; her heartbeat is accelerating quickly." _Of course, you wouldn't care to mention _how much longer_ I'll be stuck like this, would you? Jerks._ I began to think it would be much easier for all involved if Edward could just read my mind right about now. If he could, he would have _said_ something by now._ Of course, you _do_ realize he's probably banging his head against the wall right about now? Don't forget the little complex about having to take the blame for absolutely _everything_ that goes wrong around him_. True.

I mentally shouted at him. _Hey! Edward! How much longer is it going to be? Truth be told, I'm a little sick of being stuck here on fire…_

Instead of hearing someone tell me how much longer this torture was going to take, I heard someone, Esme perhaps, escorting my parents out of the room. _At least someone is thinking._ I only had a moment to react to everything, with relief that someone was taking the initiative to protect my fragile parents and with annoyance that no one would tell me when I would be finished with all this.

I barely had a chance to formulate the thought when my heartbeat took off like a fighter jet, beats blurring into each other painfully.


	15. A New Life

The pain slowly receded from my limbs, leaving a disconcerting coolness. It all gathered in my chest, compressing impossibly and redoubling its efforts to drive me insane. Since I had been bitten, I had thought the pain torturous. It was nothing compared to what happened next. What had felt like fire before almost felt pleasant in comparison with the molten, throbbing sun my heart had become.

Finally, the last heartbeat of my life sounded, taking the sun with it. My eyes flashed open.

Wow. I could see every detail of every object in the room. The glare from the overhead light was almost nonexistent. Dust danced around it, swirling in lazy patterns. I finally tore my gaze away from the ceiling.

The entire Cullen family was crowded into the room. Emmett stood in front of the only window. Jasper had pushed Alice behind him, and the rest of the family stood in front of the door. I was being guarded, I supposed. Their expressions almost struck me as funny. Alice's was especially entertaining. _Sheesh, if looks could kill…_

I tried to look chagrined, I really did. But I couldn't stop myself. I burst out laughing for half a second, recoiling when I heard the changed tone. _Ew…what happened to my voice? _I couldn't really expect anything to stay the same, I supposed. Hadn't I thought about that before? I recovered quickly. I grinned at Alice.

"I told you so," I said childishly. I meant to only get out of bed, but I bolted out of it like a shot instead, causing everyone to tense. It was annoying. Everything I did felt like I was moving at the speed of light, but witnessing it in slow motion.

I felt like I was being watched all of a sudden, and not just by the seven people in the room. I turned and crouched instinctively, hissing at the figure. My mind cleared as I saw the figure was encased in a wood frame. It was a mirror. _Fail, Allison._

I straightened up from my crouch and stared at the person silhouetted in the mirror. I knew it had to be me. Vampires still had reflections, right? But it seemed impossible. The woman in the mirror didn't look anything like me. _Where did my face go?_

It wasn't merely the vivid red eyes, although they were a big part of the discrepancy. They were a bright red, appropriately the color of fresh blood. No human had those eyes. Of course, I was no longer human. They were a predator's eyes; even in surprise they seemed threatening. The features seemed too smooth and defined. The skin was almost flawless. If I looked closely, I could see a long, silvery mark on her right hand. A scar. I liked it; it made her look dangerous. The hair wasn't in my customary ponytail. Instead, it smoothly fell to my shoulders. I ran my fingers through my hair. The woman in the mirror did the same. Her hair, _my_ hair, seemed too fine and under control. It was like pulling my fingers through water.

Of course, I was being ridiculous.

I had known before all this that becoming a vampire would involve some major changes. I smirked at myself in the mirror sarcastically.

After a few more moments, I turned to my "guard", hands open in front of me to show I wasn't a threat. None of them showed any sign of relaxing their postures. I habitually took a deep breath of frustration.

Bad idea.

Mom's scent still permeated the room. How I hadn't noticed that before, I had no idea. Granted the scent was diluted by some sort of strong chemical, but it still was potent enough to assault my newly tuned senses. The flames returned, albeit only to my throat and with _much_ less intensity than before. I ground my teeth together against the feeling. Jasper understood immediately.

"She needs to hunt. Edward, you take her," he said.

Edward looked absolutely awful. He must _really_ be beating himself up over this one. Oops. I felt guilty for approximately an eighth of a second. Then I rolled my eyes. It wasn't even _close _to his fault this time. There really wasn't much he could've done to stop me. Granted, he could have opened his eyes, or maybe felt the rush of air as my fist came toward him, or a million other things, really. Okay, so maybe he could've done something. A lot of things. But it still wasn't his fault. There was no way he could've predicted what I was about to do. It was a split second decision. Beyond that, he couldn't read my mind.

I moved toward the window, my stride flowing unnaturally. Edward was beside me in an instant. He slid the window open and stepped into thin air. I peered out the window, measuring the distance to solid ground with my eyes. I balanced on the ledge, standing on tiptoe. I turned around and saluted sarcastically to those who remained inside. Then I swan-dove out the window, doing a single flip and landing neatly on my toes.

I smirked at Edward and glanced around the huge yard with a strange sense of déjà vu. I glanced over my shoulder and had the strangest urge to laugh.

"Do you want to race?" I asked innocently. He half smiled for a split second, then returned to looking impossibly guilty. I rolled my eyes at him and tugged at his hand. "Oh, come on, Edward," I said, exasperated. Well, it seemed that, as usual, I would have to take the initiative here. I tensed my muscles reflexively; I was used to this. I'd raced hundreds of times before. I started the countdown. "Go on three, okay? One…two…_three_!"

I shot off like a bullet. I was across the yard in an instant, on the banks of the stream running at the back. I coiled myself and sprang across, overshooting the opposite bank by at least a hundred yards. I kept flying, my feet hardly touching the ground. The trees on either side of me were moving impossibly quickly. It was almost like riding in a car. I darted into a clearing and stopped. Well, that was definitely a personal record. I was fairly confident I had never run a thirty second mile as a human.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It…sparkles? _Oh, you have got to be kidding me_.

Sure enough, my skin was throwing diamonds on the ground and trees around me. I guess no one had found it important to mention that I would _glitter_. Oh, well. At least I wasn't a pile of smoking ashes. I saw Edward arrive out of the corner of my eye. I lifted my eyes to his and tried to hold back hysterical laughter.

I failed.

How could I hold that in? He was _sparkling_, for crying out loud! I held my breath and bit the inside of my cheek, trying to stop. I only succeeded in realizing just how sharp my new teeth were. Ow.

"What?" Edward asked. I choked back another giggle.

"Mm…nothing…aren't we supposed to be eating Bambi?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and gestured for me to follow him. We ran soundlessly through the forest for a few more miles until we caught the scent of something huge. I peeked around the tree we had stopped next to.

It was a grizzly bear. A _huge _grizzly bear. I could hear its huge heart pumping. The sound made something pool in my mouth. It tasted metallic. Venom. I glanced at Edward momentarily. He nodded, "Just do what comes naturally."

I sprang out of my hiding place, facing the grizzly head on. Sensing a threat, it rose to its full height. On its hind legs, the bear stood at least two feet taller than me. Its lips rose as it bared its teeth at me. It opened its jaws and let out an impressive growl. A few days ago, I would have been frozen with fear at this spectacle.

Now I just felt incredibly thirsty. I grinned at the bear as it stared me down. "Oh, roar yourself," I said casually. It swiped at me with one of its front paws and I dodged. I was on its back before it knew I was gone. Instinctively, I leaned down and bit through the fur, fat, and muscle on its neck, finally feeling a rush of warm blood in my mouth. I had expected this part of my new existence would have been more awkward. But this felt completely natural. The taste was new, but it was the farthest thing from unpleasant. I finished the bear, letting it drop to the ground. I stepped casually off the mass of fur and wiped my mouth.

I turned back to where Edward was waiting. "So, how was that?"

"Not bad, but you might want to change your shirt," he said, nodding his head pointedly. I looked at my shirt and saw I was basically wearing a bib of grizzly blood now. I shrugged.

"I think it adds character," I said offhandedly. I gestured back the way we had come. "Shall we?" As we started toward the house, I noticed the drained body of a cougar nearby. I half snorted. _Of course Edward would manage to take something down _without_ ruining his clothes_.

I'd already decided one thing that almost made all the torture of the last few days worth it. The speed was incredible. I'd always loved running. The feel of air whipping past my face was exhilarating. It was almost like the feeling of speeding down a freeway in a fast car, but better because I was in complete control of my own body, my stride eating the miles. Running was completely different as a vampire. I thought I was fast as a human?

I might as well have been standing still.

The speed reminded me of the old Looney Tunes episodes. The only thing that was missing was the plume of dust rising in my wake. It was the weirdest sensation, moving faster than I normally drove, but still being able to see every detail of the forest surrounding me. I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see Edward on my heels. Instead, I saw him several yards behind me, a frustrated look on his face. Just to be a jerk, I turned around and started running backwards toward the house. I put on my best confused face.

"Huh. I thought you said you were _fast_," I said innocently. He scowled at me. I smiled and turned back around. I bunched my muscles and launched myself upward. I flew for a moment, free falling toward…the stream. _You know what they say about pride…_

Shut up.

I managed to right myself in time, landing a little awkwardly in front of the water. I struck a gymnast pose, trying for an "I meant to do that" look. Edward landed next to me with a little more grace. One look at his face told me he wouldn't buy my act. He was trying desperately not to laugh. I sighed.

"It's fine. Go ahead and laugh. I won't rip your head off. Well, I _probably_ won't," I said, pulling my features into what I hoped was a believable poker face. He took a deep breath, screwing up his face in an attempt to prolong the inevitable. It finally burst out, the first laughter I'd heard from him in a long time. Granted, it was annoying because he was laughing at _me_, and the newborn part of me wanted to send him flying miles into the woods, but it was worth it. I felt a bubble of optimism. Maybe it was possible to stop him without having to _physically _stop him. _In that case, why the heck did you have to go and make yourself a vampire, genius?_ Great. My stupid inner monologue was acting up again, and, as usual, it made sense.

Edward suddenly stopped laughing, whipping his head toward the woods.

"Edward, what's…" I started. Then the smell hit me. It was like wet dog smell amplified a million times. My nose wrinkled and I hissed in reaction. Edward and I backed toward the house. Every muscle in my body was tense. I knew instinctively that the source of this smell was a threat. Even as we retreated, a huge black wolf stalked out of the woods, its teeth exposed in a low growl.

_Oh, god, the treaty…_

More wolves appeared out of the forest, teeth bared, muscles coiled to spring. _Seth. Leah. Connor. _I didn't want to fight them. These people were my family and friends. But it seemed like there was no real choice. I was only given the options to fight or to die. I bared my own teeth, trying to size up the threat around me. The black wolf narrowed its eyes and prepared to pounce.

Just as it became airborne, a russet colored wolf appeared out of nowhere, knocking the attacker off its course.

_A/N: Sorry about the cliffie…I know I'm evil. I am planning on writing a sequel…look out for new postings on my profile! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed so far!_


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